Ok, so who thought having and raising kids would be easy? Show of hands?? (see me raise hand) Whatever!! I remember being very young and wanting nothing more than to be a mommy. Aren't we, as young girls, taught that there is nothing better than being a mom and wife? We wait breathlessly for Prince Charming and our 2.5 kids to come along. Then one day, it all happens. And the kids cry, and your husband argues, and ever so s-l-o-w-l-y you lose your mind.
Yet, there is such JOY in being "Mommy"! It may not be easy, but it is such a rewarding experience. That does NOT mean that our (my) children are angels...PUH-LEASE! They are girls, and most of them are teens. Definition of teen girl: Moody, cranky, fickle and joyful. Yells in one second, all sugar the next. Crying over spilt milk, laughing over dead cat. Who really understands the mind of a "Teen Queen"? Not me.
I only know that when I started having children at the old age of 17 (yes, you read right), I thought I knew it all. I see video of me being her mother and I die a little inside. I didn't know how to be her mom. I was a kid, selfish and scard. Oh, I LOVED her. She was my child, but I didn't understand truly how to raise her. It was like she was just there, you know?? I wouldn't change it...wouldn't want it different. I am who I am because of her....and the 5 others that followed. I love each of them so much my heart hurts daily. I do want them to have more growing time before they become moms. I know I can't wrap them in bubble wrap, can't send them to live with the Amish ( I really want to) and I can't protect them forever....maybe not at all. I take comfort in knowing that they are in God's hands, and scripture says that they can not be snatched out of His hands. I also know that in His infinitude, He made me her mother at age 17. And though I may not always understand why He thought I was a good choice to raise His children, I am blessed all the more for it. Each one grew under my heart, and I am reminded of His grace by each peal of laughter, each tear and even each door that slams. It may not be easy...but it's a "not" easy I can deal with. If you ask me tomorrow if I feel the same way, the answer may be no...but today I'm ok.