Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The other day, I realized time goes on. Sometimes, it seems to move so slow, almost standing still....nothing changing. Other times, it's like a merry go round...barely pausing for me to catch my breath. I look around at my life and sometimes I think "This is GREAT!" and other times, I go...."This is IT?" I see people, maybe someone from high school or just a stranger, and I wonder what time they're stuck in. I'm no different. Give me a good half hour with a girlfriend from high school and I'm that fickle, snobbish girl again, using boys up....treating their hearts like tissue. I don't mean for it to happen, it just does. Here I am at 37, chatting and giggling like I'm 14 again. It's crazy. Having daughters, I am reminded just who Iwas. Maybe it's the way one child talks to her boyfriend, or the way the other blushes. Often times, these great gems like "Influence the world, don't let the world influence you" come out of my mouth and I think "WHOA...I am GOOD!" Then I let the TV influence my perception of myself....Pot calling the kettle black anyone???
When I was in middle school and high school, I was reasonably pretty. Maybe just cute. And I admit, I lied to "better" myself to my peers. Everything is so hard in school...always trying to keep up and to be like "them". You know, the popular ones...the ones who have "IT". I outgrew lying at about age 14. I wanted to date. But boys eluded me. So my solution: Date older. So I did.
He was 20. Would I let our daughters date a 20 year old....UMMMM...NO! But remember, to me he wasn't anything...his heart was fallible, I enjoyed breaking it as often as I could. Thankfully, I grew out of that too.

My question is: Does life change around us, or do we change our lives??