I used that term a lot in my Facebook status recently. That's because my life was twisting all over the place. Long story short: There was a wedding planned for August that happened on this past Tuesday. What a twist that was!
I am so happy for our daughter and our new son in law. It's slowly sinking in that yes, they really did get married. Yes, he is really her husband and yes....she'll be moving away in June. It seems surreal to me, like I'm living in some dream state. Yesterday, as her and her older sister lovingly (and sarcastically) teased each other, my heart was sad. I realized that those moments will now be fewer....our puzzle is shifting once again.
Remember my blog "Who Says"? It was about the bride and groom. They are young, inexperienced and totally "it" for each other. You will certainly ask why they got married so quickly and so young. You might even assume some things. There was no 'need' for a wedding, nothing that's hidden. They got married for the same reason anyone does. As for the timing, it doesn't matter what we say....if you think it's a bad idea, you'll find a reason for our reasons to be invalid. And that's ok.
Because here's the thing: They're married. We (her dad and I) spent a lot of time agonizing over this, praying over them and the decisions that needed to be made. They prayed. And before you scoff, please remember that age has nothing to do with prayer or whether or not God speaks. When I asked our son in law why, his answers were simple: He loved her and God told him she would be his wife. That was enough.
We weren't looking for a husband for this daughter. She had plans to be a doctor, her life was full already. A marriage has thrown that all off kilter, but that was when I knew she really loved him. When she said she would put college on hold for a year. Prior to him, there was no changing her heart. She still wants to be a doctor...she wants to be his wife more right now. They're good kids. They get to grow up together, lean on each other, fight and make up...they get to figure it out.
What this whole twisted plot comes down to is God. He is the author. I always think I have things figured out. I have prayed, tested Him, begged Him to stop everything that's outside His will. I have asked for His light upon every step and at times thought maybe He was stopping it. He didn't. And now, they're married. And that is sacred. I trust that the Lord will protect, provide and guide them. It won't be easy, but age aside, marriage NEVER IS!
So I ask you, please pray for them. Pray for strength, wisdom, joy and fellowship for them. And pray for me...my heart is sad over her moving away.
Truth: God is good. Just because I didn't see all the plot twists happening, I can take heart in knowing He did. He does. There is nothing that happens without His knowledge, not even without His consent. He loves them the most.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Identitiy
Not a super long word, or majorly impactful. But oh so full of meaning. A person's identity is something to cherish, celebrate and build up. Something to grow, learn about and nurture.
Today, mine took a hit. Literally, someone told me to "go seek God, read the bible and your (my) wrongdoings would be revealed." Instantly, I was taken back over 14 years. I was suddenly in that pit that God has so graciously lifted me out of. I felt like I was climbing the walls, stuck in mud. I cried all day. I wracked my brain, I prayed incessantly, cried some more and tried desperately to figure it out. About mid evening, as I laid on my bed (emotionally drained), God spoke.
He told me it wasn't me. Whatever was happening, wasn't because of me. I was freed. I know, at this point, that I'm good. I am not that mud bound, stuck woman. I am saved by grace. His grace, His undeserved favor. I was reminded, like I so often remind you all, that He is bigger than this. He sees, He knows and He's in control.
I recognize that while involved in a situation, I am not the cause of the sorrow. That is something different. Am I saying I have no fault, no responsibility? Nope. I've owned up to it. This new thing, however, is not mine to take....no matter how much someone wants to give it to me. There is something amazing about the Lord freeing me.
There is still sorrow, there is still confusion. I'm still not sure what caused my identity to come into question. I asked for answers...I got none. (at least not from the humans) I prayed for answers and clarity. I got it. It wasn't me. So I will take joy in that. I will pray for the situation at hand, and I will search Him out in all things. There may never be complete healing. I just need to know that I. AM. HIS.
I hope this isn't the end of this particular story. My love is deep and it doesn't end because someone else decides it should. Amazingly, His is much stronger. I am amazed and loved.
My identity is not wrapped up into today's sorrow, and yesterday's sins. My identity is defined by Him. In the very beginning, He created me. Knit me together. Who are they to decide I am less than...to decide how I should identify myself?? They are no one. He is everything.
If He is for me, then who could stand against?
Today, mine took a hit. Literally, someone told me to "go seek God, read the bible and your (my) wrongdoings would be revealed." Instantly, I was taken back over 14 years. I was suddenly in that pit that God has so graciously lifted me out of. I felt like I was climbing the walls, stuck in mud. I cried all day. I wracked my brain, I prayed incessantly, cried some more and tried desperately to figure it out. About mid evening, as I laid on my bed (emotionally drained), God spoke.
He told me it wasn't me. Whatever was happening, wasn't because of me. I was freed. I know, at this point, that I'm good. I am not that mud bound, stuck woman. I am saved by grace. His grace, His undeserved favor. I was reminded, like I so often remind you all, that He is bigger than this. He sees, He knows and He's in control.
I recognize that while involved in a situation, I am not the cause of the sorrow. That is something different. Am I saying I have no fault, no responsibility? Nope. I've owned up to it. This new thing, however, is not mine to take....no matter how much someone wants to give it to me. There is something amazing about the Lord freeing me.
There is still sorrow, there is still confusion. I'm still not sure what caused my identity to come into question. I asked for answers...I got none. (at least not from the humans) I prayed for answers and clarity. I got it. It wasn't me. So I will take joy in that. I will pray for the situation at hand, and I will search Him out in all things. There may never be complete healing. I just need to know that I. AM. HIS.
I hope this isn't the end of this particular story. My love is deep and it doesn't end because someone else decides it should. Amazingly, His is much stronger. I am amazed and loved.
My identity is not wrapped up into today's sorrow, and yesterday's sins. My identity is defined by Him. In the very beginning, He created me. Knit me together. Who are they to decide I am less than...to decide how I should identify myself?? They are no one. He is everything.
If He is for me, then who could stand against?
Thursday, March 6, 2014
The Way it Works
A year ago, I thought I knew the direction our lives were going. When I say 'our', I mean the entire family's. Yeah. Well....tip me over and call me a teapot. I actually had NO CLUE. I know, right??
A year ago, we were preparing for an overseas fellow to pop in for a visit. We were getting over the tidal wave from the year before. We were gearing up for C to graduate high school and go away to college. From that vantage point, I thought I had it all figured out. We had new kids popping in and out of our lives, relationships ending and beginning. I thought the way it works was....I figure it out and it would go that way. HAH!
Over the past year, I've learned that I actually KNOW NOTHING. That I can plan, presume and assume, but in reality...I know NOTHING! (thought that deserved to be said twice)If someone had told me a year ago that the plot was changing so suddenly and with such fervor, I would've laughed. I would've p'shawed my heart out and giggled like a mad woman. Heavens, if someone had sat me down and told me EXACTLY what was going to happen, well I would've just up and ran away.
There was no way to prepare for the way my life twisted. No way to figure out how it really was going to work. Just when I got into a groove, God shook me up and out of it. That's okay. I needed it. Matty and I needed to be shaken to the core of our marriage so that we would get out of the complacency groove. C needed to realize that sometimes her plans aren't God's. And that thing with the overseas boy? Well, it needed to be broken. He needed to grow and so did she. They just couldn't grow together.
If someone had told me that the way it works is NOT the way I expect, I'm not sure how I would've responded. I never expected a certain boy to come along and shake our girl so much that her whole life changed. I never expected him to love her in such a way. I mean, he was new to the party! I never expected her to love him...that's what really threw me. A year ago, I'm sure neither of them expected to be in each others lives....and mean so much. The way it was supposed to work was not this way. Serves me right...thinking I know the mind of the Almighty.
I know I say this a lot, but truly, it is God's world. He has planned and I can not presume to know what His next move is. And yet, I get stuck doing just that. I get stuck thinking I know the way it works and I'm just going to go about my business making it work that way. Guess what?! I'm working against Him at that point. I do believe that we often work within His plan and His will...however, I know that when I start to assume His plan I go my own way. And that is not good. That is not the way it works.
A year ago, I had no clue. I thought I knew it all. I look back and see where the ground work was being laid, the path set. I see the twists, the curvy places.
Now, I'm just going to go one day at a time. It's really the best way, the only way. I can plan...but I know that things can change in a heartbeat. That just because I have a plan doesn't make it so.
Where were you a year ago? Can you see where His hand has touched? Can you see where you thought you had it figured out and He just moved you away from that?? Keep watching, dear ones. And remember, He is for us....no one can stand against!
Stay tuned.....
A year ago, we were preparing for an overseas fellow to pop in for a visit. We were getting over the tidal wave from the year before. We were gearing up for C to graduate high school and go away to college. From that vantage point, I thought I had it all figured out. We had new kids popping in and out of our lives, relationships ending and beginning. I thought the way it works was....I figure it out and it would go that way. HAH!
Over the past year, I've learned that I actually KNOW NOTHING. That I can plan, presume and assume, but in reality...I know NOTHING! (thought that deserved to be said twice)If someone had told me a year ago that the plot was changing so suddenly and with such fervor, I would've laughed. I would've p'shawed my heart out and giggled like a mad woman. Heavens, if someone had sat me down and told me EXACTLY what was going to happen, well I would've just up and ran away.
There was no way to prepare for the way my life twisted. No way to figure out how it really was going to work. Just when I got into a groove, God shook me up and out of it. That's okay. I needed it. Matty and I needed to be shaken to the core of our marriage so that we would get out of the complacency groove. C needed to realize that sometimes her plans aren't God's. And that thing with the overseas boy? Well, it needed to be broken. He needed to grow and so did she. They just couldn't grow together.
If someone had told me that the way it works is NOT the way I expect, I'm not sure how I would've responded. I never expected a certain boy to come along and shake our girl so much that her whole life changed. I never expected him to love her in such a way. I mean, he was new to the party! I never expected her to love him...that's what really threw me. A year ago, I'm sure neither of them expected to be in each others lives....and mean so much. The way it was supposed to work was not this way. Serves me right...thinking I know the mind of the Almighty.
I know I say this a lot, but truly, it is God's world. He has planned and I can not presume to know what His next move is. And yet, I get stuck doing just that. I get stuck thinking I know the way it works and I'm just going to go about my business making it work that way. Guess what?! I'm working against Him at that point. I do believe that we often work within His plan and His will...however, I know that when I start to assume His plan I go my own way. And that is not good. That is not the way it works.
A year ago, I had no clue. I thought I knew it all. I look back and see where the ground work was being laid, the path set. I see the twists, the curvy places.
Now, I'm just going to go one day at a time. It's really the best way, the only way. I can plan...but I know that things can change in a heartbeat. That just because I have a plan doesn't make it so.
Where were you a year ago? Can you see where His hand has touched? Can you see where you thought you had it figured out and He just moved you away from that?? Keep watching, dear ones. And remember, He is for us....no one can stand against!
Stay tuned.....
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