Hi! I realized it's been almost a year since I've written. Over here, life is good. It's settled down since the "great back surgery" year. We HAVE (just Matt and I) gone to Disneyland...with my parents. Plus, we hit Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm. It was a busy 12 days. We're gearing up for Italy in less than a month. I'm SO excited! I'm still volunteering with Proverbs 31 Ministries and LOVING it. I LOVE being part of this ministry...the relationships I've built, the studies I've led...My heart is full.
But...can I just be honest? I'm lonely sometimes. And I'm not always sure how to step past that. I know part of it is me. I also know part of it is the rest of the world.
God has invited me to be in the exact place I am at any given minute. (learned *and held on to* that doing the "Uninvited" study by Lysa TerKeurst) Yet, sometimes, it's lonely.
Leading the studies I've led, I've learned to be more at peace with where I am. Yet...I'm only human! I've found that women like to put on their "Sunday Face". You ask how someone is and they say fine as they breeze by. And there you are, heart hurting and wondering why YOU'RE not fine. Because it sure does seem like the rest of the world has it together and you're broken like always, stuck in your messy middle. It's lonely there. Guess what I learned in the last study I did? God specializes in the broken. God creates from our dust....AND He knows about our 'messy middles'.
I've learned, from leading, that we need to share our messy more. Your messy won't look like mine *or part of it might!* and that's okay. Sharing isn't being stuck. And if it does look similar, we can talk about that. You aren't alone...neither am I. We shouldn't have to feel alone. We shouldn't have to feel lonely.
It's a wonderful, complex, sometimes scary world we live in. I want to rally with you. I want to cry, laugh and just sit in comfortable silence with you. I want to ease your hurting heart, hear your anger and commiserate with your joy/sadness.
Please understand, I KNOW that God is the only relationship I NEED. He is the lover of my soul, my Lord and my Savior. He can fill every void. Yet...I believe He wants us to fill space around others. I think He wants us to be vulnerable, open and crumbled together. He doesn't want any of us to be lonely.
So, let's not be lonely. Let's have coffee, do lunch, chat about nothing. Let's love each other, let's be vulnerable. Let's pray together. Let's help each other through the hard things and not forget when it gets better that we're still needed.
God is good, all the time. See you soon-ish.
