Friday, December 16, 2011

Adventures

Life is an adventure. You never know what might get tossed at you, what you might have to jump over or what dragons you may have to slay. But that's half the fun. Most of the enjoyment comes from the anticipation, the "butterflies", the adrenaline.
Well, this year of our life has been no less adventurous. Join me, friends, as I recount our (said in loud, magnified voice) "2011 ADVENTURES....."

-Broken hearts...we've had them this year. We've had a girl have her heart broken and one who broke a few herself.
-Job demotion....first a threat, then reality. A blow to my man for sure, but he rebounded well
-Disneyland!! AGAIN! We were there for Chellsei's 16th birthday....how much more fun could a party be??
WELLL!- They can be pretty fun! We had a "Fabulous 50's" surprise for Chellsei and a "Swashbuckling" pirate surprise party for Kaily...I do LOVE those theme parties. Chellsei looked at her friend laying on the floor and said "Why are you here?" before she understood it was HER party. Silly girl.
-Murphy continues to eat everything....including small terracotta pots full of dirt. And he had mites. And he ate his bed. And....he is so SPOILED!
-Hillary came to visit...with her boyfriend....who she lives with. EEEEK! That was a hard one. "How 'bout them Broncos?" became our favorite saying, when things got tense...as in "When will you marry our daughter" tense. We sent him Bronco shirts for Christmas. :D
-One broken arm in a pink cast.
-One Savannah elected to student council...pretty fabulous!
-One drummer girl.
-One senior getting "senioritis"....and frantically applying to college.
-Kidney infection...pretty recent and very painful...I am soaking up the love.
-Only rearranged the house 3 times, didn't touch his stereo system once. That was a good thing...I think he might've locked me in the closet if I had.
-Celebrated 11 years of marriage. Looking forward to more!
-Kaily realized that her mom is right on a few things...such as boys who play guitar and write angry songs. She is immortalized. Might not be in the best way, but he sure gave her the "power".
-Got to see one of the biggest Holiday films at a screening...for FREE! I love free! AND got lots of tea on "Starbucks Free Tea" day. Hooray for tea for free!
-Made new friends, got family pictures done and generally just grew.

We've had alot go on this year. Some good, some not so good and some just down right terrible. Yet, we've weathered it well. We've gotten through the tears, the giggles, the yelling and even the foot stomping and door slamming. Our adventures make us a family. They are a story we get to tell, a triumph to overcome and a journey to be had.
Thank you all for journeying with me this year. I have shared my heart, my anger, my joy and my sorrows. Through it all, I have prayed. Every adventure is mapped out by God. His plan. There have been times when I haven't spoken to Him as often as I "should". Yet...He is there, loving me. His plan doesn't change just because I am stubborn. (really, I am stubborn...i know, I don't seem to be)I am so excited to be His, so excited to live in this adventure written just for me.

So, Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful New Year. Remember, He was born to die so we could live....


The most wonderful adventure awaits....He is coming.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Worthy

I see my children. I see how amazing and beautiful and talented they are. i see their insecurities, their aching hearts and their swollen eyes from hidden tears. I see how much they want to belong with the "right" people. I've seen those "right" people tolerate my child, I've seen them avoid my child, I've seen them placate and pretend around my child. I've seen my child LONG to just be included, to be wanted, to feel like she is worthy.
I remember wanting those same things. I remember sitting alone at lunch, reading a book so I would look busy. Yet inside I was longing to be accepted, to have someone call my name and ask me to sit with them. I wanted so badly to be a part of something I believed was so grand. It never happened. The only attention I got was male and we all know how that ended up. I wanted to be accepted and have friendship with the girls. I wanted to go places on weekends, get rides home and be able to talk about the same thinks everyone else was talking about. I didn't want to be lonely.
I tell the child/ren that the rest of life isn't like high school. That the things that matter now, won't in a few years. That friendship takes time to build and high school isn't the place to build it. Those friendships that survive are the exception. Not the rule. However, I am still lonely. I am still waiting for people to ask me over. Still waiting to be "accepted". Entering into a new social setting is hard for me. I am never sure if it's my perception or if there is truth in my thoughts. I want to be wanted....
God has blessed me with a few very good friends. And I am thankful. I need to lead by example with this child. I'm just not sure how. My heart hurts for her, aches all the time because I see the sadness behind her eyes. She is so amazing, so gifted and so beautiful. She is such a marvelous creation. God has plans for her that I can't even fathom....plans for her good. My sorrow has always been in their loneliness. I remember so well that subtle pain that took root in my heart when I was lonely. It breaks my heart to think of them hurting. Breaks my heart to think of them trying so hard to be worthy when they don't have to try at all. The people they are trying to be worthy for will not matter in 2 years. They will grow up, lead their lives and have children (if God so blesses them). These daughters were born worthy to be princesses. They were created by His hand, breathed to life by the King. They have no need to look for acceptance when the One who loves them is the Lord. I so want them to KNOW this. To grasp it and not let go. To remember that there is never a reason to be lonely when you are in the company of your Father....and He is holding your hand. He will not let you fall, child. He will not let you go.


If you've been on either side of the table, remember that God loves us all the same. We are the same, you and I. Created and loved, all for a purpose.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Crooked and Upside Down

Christmas has hit my house! As Kaily says "Christmas threw up in my house". I think it looks lovely....even with the angel crooked on the tree. But that is pretty much my life. Crooked and upside down.
Just last night, Ashley broke her elbow. I've had sick kids, a always working, barely there husband and the dog had mites. His medicine cost more than his visit! Even had one daughter immortalized in a not so fabulous poem.....posted on facebook!(I broke my facebook fast to hunt the boy down)
Yet....I've also had lots of hugs from those sick kids, lots of snuggle time. Been able to watch all the girly movies I want because Mattys at work. Had a fabulous Thanksgiving and had a great, endorphin rushed night of shopping. Ate at Denny's at 2 a.m. and went to the Cheeecake Factory for a post Thanksgiving lunch....they bought me dessert! Something icky was in my food....hooray for free dessert! As for the mites, well....that's the only thing still on my bad list.
It's easy to recount all the "horrible" things in my life, to be the downtrodden and soggy. It's easy to mope and whine (I'm guilty) and allow myself to roll in the muck. And I feel like I've done that lately. I've been cranky, sad and overrun. I have allowed my circumstances to affect my spirit. And I don't want to be that.
The Lord is good all the time. He has my whole life all mapped out and I was created for His plan. I stray away from that plan and He is still waiting, loving me and holding me. There is nothing that happens in my life, soggy or not, that He isn't aware of. And I've let go of that. He reminds me daily, and I still insist on carrying everything. Silly me. His back is strong, mine is broken.
So as we go into December, I am reminded of His love. I am reminded of His birth, of the innocent baby born to die.....for me. I had a horrible October. I had an iffy November. December has got to be the best yet. And even if it's not, I will try to remember that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

Sometimes crooked and upside down is good. It allows me to see things from a different angle......sometimes even keeps me walking straight.