Learning to Love

Every day, we learn. We learn traffic patterns for 7:20 a.m. school runs, learn how long it takes for 2 girls to get ready. We learn what NOT to watch on Netflix, learn about beautiful beginnings and sorrowful endings. We learn how to be better, how to focus on ourselves less. We learn how to walk, talk, kiss, hug and love.

I am learning how to love my husband again. He's learning how to love me again. That's a bit misleading. It's not that we ever stopped, it's just that we forgot to be intentional about showing it. Every week we come away from counseling with an "assignment". This weeks is to list 10 ways he can act to induce affection in me and vice versa. I never realized how I needed him to respond to me in order for me to be more intentional. I know that the goal is to eventually not have to think and put effort into being intentional, it's to just BE INTENTIONAL.

It's interesting to me to realize how I relate. Interesting to hear some of the things that come out when we're being raw with each other. It's nice to be able to talk with him and not feel as though I have to put up a bulwark. (fancy word, huh?) Guess what? These things we're learning and being refreshed on in counseling are things we can use in ALL our relationships with others. Well, except a few.

I am learning to love him better, in a way that he really will respond to. He's learning to love me better, in a way I'll respond to. I've realized that love doesn't just continue on because we WANT it to. It's a consistent learning thing. Every day, I change. Every day, he changes. Every day, I need to learn how to love him. And I choose to love him....every day. I'm pretty sure he chooses to love me every day. And every day, we learn.

I am so thankful that God doesn't have to learn to love me, so glad His love isn't as fickle or as emotional. I'm so glad He just loves me. No strings, no learning how to love, no wondering if He'll love me tomorrow. He just does.

I love my husband. My husband loves me. That wasn't and isn't the issue. But somewhere down the road, we forgot to show it. We allowed ourselves to slip into a pattern of forgetting. We're learning how to get out of it, learning how to show love and mean it.

Friends, marriage is hard. Relationships are hard. Don't feel bad if you struggle....talk about it before it becomes a big thing. Before the wall is so big you don't know how to get over it or go around it.

We still haven't come to the point where we can share what got us into counseling. I can reiterate what it wasn't....but I'm sure I don't have to.


My heart grieves for those without husband and father. I've had to balance my frustration with the knowledge that I have the privilege of my husband.

Learn to love better, friends. That is one area you can never know too much about.

Thank you for praying....God is good all the time.