Freeze!

I am 38. Seeing the numbers in front of me, I am apalled. It looks so old. I don't feel old...I don't think I look old. (nobody comment please) Except right now I kind of do....my roots are showing. Terribly. But really, time is moving right along. It doesn't care that I only have 7 more months to enjoy my 8 year old. Then she'll be 9.
That same month, we will have a second adult child. Be still my heart!
As a youth, time moves slowly. You live for Christmas vacation, spring break and the joy of all joys: Summer Vacation. You whine and complain about everything you have to do in school.....good grief! I can't believe I thought high school was hard! If not for all the drama that goes on, I would go back. (not really) Once you're out of school, maybe married with children, time zooms along! Your first baby is fantastic. Every moment recorded, every milestone written down. Along comes baby 2....hmmmm, time seems to have gotten faster. In my case, babies 3,4,5 and 6 took ALL my time! Then one day, they aren't babies. They're tweens. And they say the darndest things. Ask anyone who knows Little Bit....they'll agree. Then they're teens. Then adults. Then what? I find myself with time again in every aspect of my life except with them. It refuses to slow down, stop their growing process. Time refuses to let me catch up to their emotions, refuses to let me get ahead of their hurts. It doesn't let me put bubble wrap down everywhere they will walk and learn lessons. It's almost not fair.
Time doesn't even let me stop aging while Matty catches up. He's about 31/2 years younger than me. It doesn't bother me when we're in the same decade. ie:30's. But guess what! I will be 40 in 19 months. UGH! Cause then I'm in my 40's and he's in his 30's. Makes me snivel. *whine whine* Ok, pity party over. For now. *grin*
I realized the other day that my parents are almost 60. My dad is starting to look like I remember my grandpa looking and my grandpa looks super OLD now. They don't seem any older to me, they're just my parents. But they are....their bodies tell the tale and they have doctor bills to prove it!
It seems like the older I get, the further old gets away. But when I see kids I knew as babies and they are driving, dating or even married I realize just how much time has gone by. My memory plays tricks, convinces me that time has stood still. That people are just as I remember them. Then I see them after years of remembering. And they are nothing like my memory told me. And I realize that as much as I'd like to freeze time, it won't stop or even slow down. I need to enjoy the every day with each daughter. Celebrate each age and pray continuously. I need to age gracefully (yes, mom, that does mean getting my hair dyed) and savor every moment with those I love. Life is an adventure. Time is the current....move along.


While I'm aging gracefully, I will have pink highlights....And I will enjoy my semi-cougarish status....*wink*