It's Father's Day. The tall girl came to me this morning, tears in her eyes, and said something about this being the last Father's Day at home....with her daddy. In all my worrisome ways, I've forgotten that there is someone else who is struggling. Not her....him.
She was 3 when he became her daddy. I told him when we met I had 4 daughters, he could have 2 (children). He never looked back for the escape door. Instead, he rooted himself into them. I guess I forgot because I carried her under my heart and it doesn't get much more emotional than that. But he CHOSE them.
She said once that she realized that her biological was just that. And she recognized that her daddy didn't love her because he HAD to, he chose to. He has been their daddy for so long that it doesn't seem real to me that their blood isn't the same. Funny, though, all girls got my blood type....so I guess their blood IS the same after all.
I am blessed. God took my very complicated, muddy and messy situation (that I slithered into) and showed me His grace. Matty didn't have to love these daughters, didn't have to root them so deeply in his heart. But, he did. We've heard a lot of "You're such a good man to take in all those girls." and "You're so wonderful to provide for children that aren't yours.". He looks at them like they're crazy people. Um, hello...they ARE his. There is no different treatment, no setting apart. He loves each one as though he was there from their births. (Except for walking S...ask him about that, it's funny)
I remember him and the tall girl playing "Mr.Fox" while we waited for her bus. In her sweet little voice, she'd ask what time it was....he'd answer and she'd hop towards him...blonde hair floating around her elfin face. I treasure those moments in my mommy heart. It won't be too long before she'll have a sweet aqua eyed child to play "Mr.Fox" with and she'll remember those moments too.
He's held me as I've broken down, been my strength. I've forgotten that he's not as strong with this. I've taken and not given. He needs to 'mourn' too. I need to let him.
I believe that every child is created by the one true God. I believe that before time began, He knew these daughters. Knew me, knew Matty. I believe He knew the choices I would make, knew the sorrow I would cause. And yet...He gave me grace. Undeserved favor. He knit us together, by heart, even after I decided to live in the pit. He intertwined our lives, allowed us joy and blessed me with someone who would love these daughters unconditionally.
There is nothing He doesn't see. Nothing that gets by Him. Even when I am oblivious. Friday is coming, time is short. Her life will start and ours will continue. We will all re-group and figure out the new normal. I have faith that even when she is away from her daddy's protection, she is in her Father's hands.
I need to remind her daddy that.
Remember, friends, there is one who loves you the most. His grace is sufficient, His word is truth. He is the Father that never sleeps, the Father that always protects. He weeps for us, laughs and delights in us.
Happy Father's Day.
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