Whoooo R Youuuuu??

I am going to a banquet. I'm not crashing it, I'm expected. Anticipated, if you will. At this banquet, no one will look through me. They will look AT me. No one will act like they are listening as they look around to see who else they COULD be talking to.

At this banquet, I won't have to wait to be accepted. I won't have to wonder if I look good. I won't have to worry that I'm not GOOD enough. I won't have to worry at all. I just get to be there. And Someone is excited that I'm going to be there.

I know that my last few blogs have been about acceptance and the way we (I) treat others or feel treated by others....but it's been heavy on my heart. I sometimes feel as though I've walked into a party an hour late and everyone already has a party buddy. And so I sit, alone, pitiful and sad. I sometimes feel like no matter how many times I invite someone over, they will always say no because they just DON'T want to be my friend. Even when they say "Sounds great....let me check my schedule". And maybe, I just need to let that go. Why do I (we) let these things define who we are?! Why do I(we) allow such trivial and minute things to determine how we shape ourselves??

I sometimes feel as though no matter how long I circulate with a group of people, I will always be the odd one out. I know my clothes aren't the same, and my husbands job doesn't bring in 6 figures and our car is super old. I feel like these things matter...perhaps they don't. I am still a person, with feelings and insecurities. You have them too....they just manifest differently.

I don't pretend. I am who I am. I'm honest, loud and sometimes not so tactful. I'm gracious, giving and vindictive. I'm abrasive, compassionate and a born leader. I'm not asking for you to like me, I'm asking you to give me a chance to be your friend. To show you who I am. To accept me for who I am.

Some banquets are hard. Everyone already knows eachother and I'm the odd duck out. That's scary and lonely. Some are easy. They're waiting for me to walk in, waiting to laugh and enjoy time with me. Those are fun and wonderful.

The one I'm invited to....not sure when I'll get to go. But when I do, He will tell me that I was always His "Beloved". He will hug me and tell me that to Him, I was never less than.

So, tell me. Who are You?

I am His.