We have a Meg. And a Jo. And Amy...even a Beth. (not dead) It's amazing how much I see our girls mirrored in fictional characters. But that particular story resonates strongly with me. All these girls, numerous personalities...sometimes in the SAME girl...what a blessing it's been. As they grow and get older, I am taken aback at how short the time has actually been.
As Hillary prepares to be a mother, and I gear up to be a grandma, I am reminded that time is ever moving. In 10 years, Harley will be 20. My grand baby will be 10 and I could (possibly) have more! And I wonder...did I teach them enough? Did I do it right? Do the decisions they make reflect on us and our parenting? And how do we stop this fast moving train and rewind the movie??
I turned 40 in September. I got a tattoo. It says "Beloved". Those of you that know my story will know that is how I view myself. As His beloved. (bunny trail) Anyways, as I turned 40, I was hit with the realization that my time as a "teaching" parent is almost over. I have to trust that God knew what He was doing when he allowed me to teach and raise 6 of His precious ones. So often, I've felt as though I failed them. But maybe I didn't. Maybe, just maybe, I did right.
As a mom, I have prayed, worried, cried and sorrowed over choices they've made. I've yelled, spanked, swatted and even popped. I've been honest, had some hard conversations and apologized. I've shattered dreams, built confidence and soothed broken hearts. I've become "Marmee".
Our little women have grown. They've developed personalities all their own. And while I see the mirror in fictional characters, I am so grateful and thankful they are individuals. I love the fact that they can laugh at themselves. Love that they are gracious. Love that nothing I say makes them wish I wasn't their mom. It's nice that they love to hang out with me...I guess I don't embarrass them too much! (not that I don't try)
I thank God for them. I thank God that He trusted me....and that even in my mistakes, He allowed me to do it "right".
This is the hardest job ever! You are awesome!
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