Things not said

Have I told you I love you? I do, you know. I believe everyone that reads my blog is brought to it by God. He loves you, therefore I love you. Does that mean anything to you?

The phrase "I love you" is whispered in the dark, shouted across a crowd, softly spoken in a hospital room and in our girls' case, said everytime they get off the phone with whoever. It's said numerous ways in countless languages by mass amounts of people. Its lost its charm, its meaning.
With every "I love you" is something that's not said. Maybe it's said because it's expected, out of "duty". Maybe it's said because there's nothing else to say. Perhaps it's habitual, part of a routine. What I don't say to Matty when I say I love him is that I have CHOSEN to love him on this day, any given day. Sometimes, when I say it to the girls it's said grudgingly. Reminding myself that I do indeed love them. I say it to my dad....he says nothing back. It's that nothing said that I know he does love me.

We don't tell the people in our lives all the things we think. We ask someone how they are doing all the while thinking of who we will talk to next. Often, I think it would be nice if we just said "Give me the short version, 5 words or less". It would save feelings and time. Isn't that what we're looking for? Easier ways to NOT talk to people? Because our time is so precious....so many important things to do. Because really, that's what we're doing. We don't say the things we want to. We give the "right" answers, tell the "right" stories and zoom away. We laugh at the right times, cry at appropriate moments and show fear when it's called for. What we don't say sometimes speaks volumes about who we are.

And most of the time, things not said are the sweetest moments. A look across the room, a snuggle from a teen age girl. A laugh over gatorade. A feather pillow fight, watching "grown up" girls play barbies. A touch on my shoulder, a surprise tea. Sometimes, words aren't needed. Silence can be warm, comforting and bring a closeness. And that's all good.

When I ask you how you are, I want your true answer. I won't say I love you unless I mean it. I promise to listen when you need it and be honest when you ask me something. I promise to sit in silence with you. I do love you. You are amazing, brought here by God. And that is the truth....and should be said.