Sometimes, It's Grey

DISCLAIMER:This contains sensitive opinion about SEX

There is a movie coming out. One that has sparked so much controversy, so much sorrow....so much lust and has given the very wrong impression of love. You all know what I'm talking about. That Grey movie. The book/movie stays far from what God intended sex to be....a gift for marriage. I believe it glorifies a sexual appetite that has no confines, no boundaries and no love.

To begin, I have NOT (repeat NOT) read the book. Also, I will NOT be going to see the movie. I will, however, be addressing something I have read in response to the movie.

This movie has ignited all sorts of response. Born again believers have spoken out harshly, the not so much believing shrug it off and others (believing and non) will go see it, pretending they wouldn't dare. I've read article upon article, blog upon blog. I read one that was a letter to a daughter. So much of it was on point....some I didn't agree with. One point had to do with behavior in sex and how some things don't "fit" inside marital sex. That is what I don't agree with. Read on to find out why.

Where I'm going to land:God created sex as a gift for a married couple. Outside the obvious NO WAY stuff, (pornography, other people) inside marriage, there should be agreement (boundaries), there should be joy and FUN. It should be FULL of love. My personal belief is that if the husband and wife are in agreement, anything goes. What that anything is is OUR business...your anything is YOUR business. No one can tell you what is right, what is wrong and how to love on your spouse. God intended my marriage bed to be my own. He set some very firm rules for intimacy , very easily obeyed laws. I believe that as long as you are obeying those rules, ANYTHING goes. God intended intimacy to be enjoyed by a husband and wife and that there is freedom in that. This movie/book and it's heroine and hero (terms used loosely) are solidifying the worlds idea that sex is anyone's for the taking, without love....without marriage.

Where the book/movie goes wrong is belittling what God's gift is. It has created a false sense of pleasure, a facade that sex without marriage is No Big Deal. That intimacy can contain abuse and be pleasurable. I don't agree that abuse is alright, pretty sure that takes away the gift part. This movie/book has created a frenzy in women. It's been termed "mommy porn". It is creating the idea that women want to be used as toys, that innocence isn't worth keeping. It's creating a hero out of man that is just a broken and stuck little boy. It has taken what should be a married couples gift and turned it into nothing.


We have always been open and honest with our girls about sex. We have tried desperately to remind them of their value and worth to God, remind them that they are His beloved. We have tried to answer questions openly and relay our own experiences and the sorrows we've had. We've always taught them the difference between the physical experiences and the emotional ones. To just say "Because God says so" doesn't always cut it. We've learned to elaborate, learned to speak from the heart. We've prayed over them, we've prayed about what to tell them. We've done our best to honor Him when we teach. What we've taught our girls:Sex outside marriage is physically the same as inside marriage. The physical sensation is the same, the hormones flow. The difference??.....outside marriage comes with sorrow and shame. Self esteem takes a hit, there is always the option of just walking away and no matter how it may FEEL like love, it isn't. Outside marriage, sex is not freeing. It keeps your heart in shambles and your emotions used up. Inside marriage there should be no condemnation, no sorrow and no shame. I do know that sometimes, even in marriage, there is sorrow. I know that for some, it's a shameful thing...their love doesn't treat them as such. My heart sorrows for them. That is not how God intended.

I think I could go on and on with this. So many see sex as shameful. Even those that are married. My goal with this is to remind you all that it IS a gift. How you unwrap it is yours to decide.

It's not black and white....sometimes, it's a bit gray. (HA...see what I did there???!)

Ps....if you ever want to know how I REALLY feel, ask to see the sign above my bed. ;)


An alternative to that movie:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMpEY67fqoQ

I do not own the rights to this video or the movie itself, or anyone in the trailer.