Behind the curtain is a man pretending to be a wizard. We are meant to pay no attention to him, to ignore his existence and pretend that the wishes are really being granted. Reality check: wishes aren't being granted and the man is just a man.
Behind the curtain of our children is a secret world. They do things we don't know about, keep secrets and make choices we find out about later. They justify what they do based on how they feel, decide to go along with something just because they want to be loved or recognized. They so desire to be accepted they allow things they would've scoffed at earlier. I was one of those children, seeking acceptance any way I could. Seeking love from boys too young to give it, seeking confirmation of my beauty. As I grew up, I swore I wouldn't be one the moms to turn aside, to believe that just because I told them no meant they would listen. I was going to push the curtain aside....I was going to be open and honest.
And I have been. I've been open, honest and involved. Perhaps too involved sometimes. Perhaps so involved that I push friends out of their lives. Perhaps I meddle too much, try to mother the world and their friends too much. Perhaps, in wanting their lives to be different, I've created something worse. I don't know. I don't believe in privacy in our house. I read texts if phones are laying around, notes found on the floor. And believe you me, it's served me well. I have found things out that I may not WANT to know, but in the grand scheme needed to know. In some cases the curtain was ripped right off the rod.
In the grand scheme of things, in this great big world, we have really good girls. They dress modestly, they hold themselves to a high standard, they don't do drugs or drink. And when they slip, they tell on themselves and we talk about it. I may bluster and be really, really mad but in the end, we talk and we cry and we still love eachother. I always felt like I couldn't make a mistake when I was younger, felt I had to be just so in order to be loved. I never felt loved enough. I wanted our girls to know they are loved, so perhaps I went/go overboard on the open/honest thing.
I never mean offense to the young ones in my life...I just want each one to know how valued and treasured they each are. (not just our girls) Our children are by no means perfect. They do mess up...sometimes often. They have issues and struggles and sometimes do NOT seem to think AT ALL. Sometimes, they seem to have lost all common sense. It just goes....flllllllllllp out of their minds. But when that happens, I try to remind them that they are more than the mistakes they make. I don't want them to get stuck....the mud and muck is sometimes hard to get out of. I want them to glide across the mud pit like it's ice.
The girls have said that they like us being involved in their lives. Said they prefer that over the alternative. And when I get worried that it's just too much, they say that perhaps "those" friends weren't really their friends to begin with. I have to remember that there is One who is just as involved. One that loves them more than I, One that sees behind the curtain without having to pull it back. He isn't a wizard, doesn't grant wishes and doesn't pretend to be something other than the great I Am. I can rest knowing that I am doing my best to raise up and teach these girls to stand for themselves, to respect themselves, to honor themselves and know that they are worth more than the world tells them. That they are more than the sum of what society says is beauty, more than what the world would try to convince them they are.
They are His. The curtain is torn.
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