The Equality of It All

There has been a lot in the news about equality. You know what I'm talking about. But let's take it somewhere different. Let's talk about inside a marriage. God's original design for marriage was that a man and a woman would compliment each other. He created Adam, and from Adam created Eve. She was his 'helpmeet', his match in all things. Yet, this same woman...beautiful, certainly shaped well helpmeet.....was also the down fall. Adam was by no means innocent. I mean seriously, dude, your wife was talking to a snake! As she took that bite, he stood by, perhaps waiting to see if she'd fall dead. When she didn't, he bit too. Thus began the equality war.

I'm too young to be a part of the 'burning bra' movement. But I've heard about it. And i grew up in a household where my mom was the spiritual leader. Spiritual leader=LEADER in my head. After I got married the first time, I lived through 2 years of horrible abuse. Almost died. After that marriage, I swore I would never let any man dominate me again. This thought process now leads to a lot of struggle in my household. Matty would never hurt me, never cause me physical pain. Emotionally, I think everyone batters each other some. (even you) But I struggle to be his equal....even his leader. And I'm sure some of that has to do with the fact that I am 4 years older....I've lived more life and I believe I know everything. HA!

I tell our girls that their husband is to be their guide, the strength of their household. Yet...I don't always live that. And I pray about it. A LOT. Maybe not enough. Here's the truth. I try to make dinner every night he is home at dinner time. I believe he is worthy of a hot meal after a long day at work. If he's working, I set him a plate in the fridge...I get his food before I get mine. I try to keep our home a place he enjoys coming home to. I make sure his laundry is done. I try to choose movies he would enjoy. In return, he provides for our family. He gets up every morning and makes breakfast for the girls and takes the littles to school. He hangs the clothes up in the closet, because i HATE that. Aside from the leadership struggle, we have a marriage of equality. I still make bad choices and he still does annoying things. Thus is marriage.

We talk about equality. We want it in everything. We all want the same size piece of pie. But sometimes, it's not about that. Sometimes we take equality to another level. We decide that we want it, must have it. At any cost. Where is the line drawn? Where do we decide it's not ok? I desire to be my husbands helper. I desire to allow him to be the head of our household. I desire him to guide and lead our family. Sometimes he forgets, so I take the reins. And I have to remind myself not to take bite out of that apple. I step back, hand the reins off and try not to think about what I want to do differently. Inside of marriage, the equality is the blessing to be taken care of. To be loved through my faults, to whisper 'I love you' in the night and have it whispered back. To know that he trusts me to raise his children, and that I trust him to never hurt me.

I have a very strong personality. (duh, right??) I know that is how God created me. I have, believe it or not, tempered it quite a bit. But in this, the Equality of It All....I struggle. So, friends, pray for me. I want to be all God designed me to be, wife, mother, helpmeet. And I REALLY like apples.......


funny thing: Kaily's young man said that American girls are much different from the ones in his place of origin. Said they appear to want to be more equal.