The Blueprint

Take just a minute to think about this: From before God created life on earth, He had a blueprint of YOUR life. He had an intricate plan in His mind, a plan for His glory and goodness. A plan, that sadly, we often veer from. Except tonight, I realized that in His blueprint of MY life He had 6 daughters....also blueprinted and intricately planned and taken care of. Wow.

After my last blog, someone suggested that I should stop living in the past. My take away from that was that they thought I live under my sins. But, here's the reality. I don't. I bring up my past because I want all those people who may have fallen to know that there IS hope. You don't have to live in that pit, don't have to struggle under the weight of what you think is unforgivable. You may wander away from His plan, the blueprint of your life, but He is still there. Watching and loving. And eventually, you arrive at the place He had planned you to be. What a sweet story...sweet and full of grace.

I'm not sweet, but I have been washed in His grace. (ok, I can be sweet sometimes) I have been cleansed by His blood. I am what you would call a "cradle christian". I've known the Lord for as long as I can remember. I don't have that huge "AH HA" moment that Matty has. (he's only been a christian for about 9 years) I just remember loving the Lord. I have had those moments of reaffirming my belief and my relationship. And I've had those moments of choosing to walk away from what He wants...even as I knew He was trying to keep me close.
I watched a movie today, which is where I got the blueprint idea, and one of the main characters had chosen a sin. She said that she was a "church" girl, and church girls didn't do certain things. And when she did a 'certain' thing, which resulted in a certain thing which led to another certain thing. Which led to a lifetime of regret and sorrow. The character then went on to say that you also didn't talk about those certain things. Not because of God, but because of the other people in her life. While this was a fictional story, there is so much truth in it. And that, dear ones, is why I blog. I talk about the 'certain' things others would rather forget. You don't have to tell me your sin, you don't have to agree with me. But please believe me when I say, I only write what God says to write.

When I first started my blog, it was with major trepidation and fear. What if people read it? What if people I KNOW read it?? What if they didn't like me anymore??? Well, maybe they didn't like me to begin with?! And then God just said, WRITE. So I did and I do. Sometimes, it starts out with me being angry. Somehow, it always turns into praise. For Him. And sometimes, it's the only way I can say anything at all. Our girls are often in my writings...they read every one before published or shortly after. So just in case you thought they didn't know....they do. Except for our little girls...would like to keep them young as long as possible.

God's blueprint for my life is creatively drawn. I'm sure it shows all the side trips I've taken, the pit I chose to live in, the lines that have stayed true to His design. I thank Him every day that He stuck with me, kept me close and by His side. That even when I was choosing a path less than His, He waited for me to come back. His arms never closed, He never stopped loving me. I have a physical representation of His grace. I am blessed to call her my daughter. He could've taken her like He did with David and Bathsheba. But He didn't. Instead, He let me be her mother. She doesn't know the impact and the reality of who she is in my life. But, He does. He knew, so very long ago, that I would be created and in my blueprint were 6 daughters. And among those 6 daughters would be a girl who would be His grace to me. I never could've known. Until I started making those 'certain' choices, I never would've believed my blueprint could be so smudged. Now, so many years later, the smudges have become part of my story. A story that every time I tell, I have fear in my heart. But He nudges me on, encouraging me to tell it with all the 'certain' things on the table. He reminds me that He is bigger than where I've been, more than I ever need. He reminds me of His grace, His blood that saved me. And after that, I am light...free and solidly Beloved. It is this that keeps me going. Keeps me writing. I don't know who you are...don't know where you are or even if you know Him. But I know that He wants you. He wants you to know you are His, and you have been created with an intact blueprint. He has a plan for your life, no matter how you try to mess it up.

Please know that I love each of you. If you ask me a question, I will answer honestly. I don't have to know who you are...He does. I do know this. YOU are part of my blueprint. What a blessing you are in my life!