Don't you Know?

This entry was originally going to be some drivel about me turning 40. But I erased it. So now....it's about beauty.

There is a song that the chorus is "Don't you know, don't you know that you're beautiful?" 3 years ago, I would've said yes. Maybe even 2 years ago. But now...now I just DON'T know.

You see, I equate beauty with how good I feel my figure is. And really, isn't that what we're taught?? We see thin, beautiful women on t.v. all the time. They accost us in magazines, look at us from billboards and make us laugh or cry from the big screen. The media has a hay day if a famous woman is caught, heaven forbid, looking NORMAL! Then the aforementioned woman goes on national television to show off her NEW body...the thinner, more "beautiful" her. Does she know she was beautiful before??

I know beauty is more than a figure, more than a current trend. I know it because I say it all the time to our girls. But that doesn't apply to me. I don't have to believe it, I just have to pass the message along. Right?! WRONG!

I need to believe it. I struggle so much with feeling like the odd duck, the sheep no one wants to talk to. And a part of me believes that maybe if I looked like the other sheep, was as beautiful as the flock, then maybe I would be liked better. Because, of course, I believe that how beautiful you are directly leads to how people like you. Hmmm, there seems to be a flaw in my logic. So what's a girl to do?

I know some of you are scratching your head (Yes, I 'm talking to YOU), thinking "Erin, you are so NOT a sheep at all." Don't let the pink hair fool you, sometimes I need to know I'm beautiful too. Just like all the other pretty sheep.

I look at our girls, and I think how lovely they all are. Loud, opinionated, sweet girls....and all fair of face. Sometimes, I think God did that because He knows how I feel about myself. There are things I can change, things I can work on. But what really needs the work is my mind set. It's flawed, with HUGE holes in it. I need to remember that I am MORE than my jean size, more than the number on the scale. I need to remember that I was created in HIS image....and He is Beeeeeyouuuuutiiiiifullll!

I need to believe the words I say to the girls, need to grasp them and hold tight. I need to remember the way He loves me.....and that He purposely created me. I am a part of His plan....every inch of me. And that is a grand thing.


How about you? Don't you know YOU'RE beautiful?!