In this whole wide world, there is only one of me. I know some of you out there are sighing in relief....could you imagine TWO of me?? Pretty frightening, I know.
Yet, in this big wide world we constantly conform. We wear what the ads tell us to wear.. We buy the "right" food. We do our hair just so. We essentially become lemmings. And do you know what lemmings do? They follow eachother off cliffs. And DIE! I do NOT want to be a lemming.
Having 6 daughters, I have insight into what girls think. Being a girl myself didn't help at all. All 6 of our daughters are so very different. They all having different levels of conformity. For one girl, the fact that she wears clothes is as lemming-ish as she gets. Otherwise it's all stripy tights and shorts and hats. Another girl doesn't consider herself a rodent. But she is. She always has been. She's the one who wants what's advertised. She wants to be "that" girl and wear "those" clothes. We always knew what to get her for birthdays and Christmas. Whatever was popular and in the moment. The little girls are still developing, still learning. I am teaching them not to conform.
I will admit that in our household we don't care. We like pictures of zombie princesses. We don't care if the girls go as "dead" prom queens for Halloween. We don't care if they see pictures of art from the renaissance period. We don't care if they wear mismatched socks and mismatched earrings. We like skeletons. We like monster dolls. We don't care if they wear spider hats to church and dress as superheros. Life is fleeting, quickly moving. If we care about all those little things we miss the HUGE things. If we spend all our time worrying about conforming, worrying about other people and what they think, we miss the FUN. I would rather have our daughters remember when we had a water fight in the house than remember our house was perfect. I want them to remember "when spiders came to play". (see picture album of same name on facebook)
In this whole wide world, we forget the important things. We concern ourselves with stuff that is inconsequential. Things that won't matter tomorrow. I say use the good plates. If one gets broken, it's OKAY. There is nothing more important than family. I say write on the windows with washable marker. Key word is washable and it keeps kids busy. Even teens. Take baths in colored water, throw impromptu parties and color your hair....a "fun" color. Stop conforming, world! God created YOU to be YOU not to be the lady next door. Don't be a lemming. There are enough of them in this whole wide world.
If you guess correctly who the 2 girls are, I will give you candy.
ps.....don't go off the cliff, the lemmings are liars.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
When the Bough Breaks
......The cradle will fall. That's how the nursery rhyme goes. It's actually a pretty demented song. Babies in trees, limbs breaking, cradles (with baby) falling. Yet also fairly accurate.
Everyday, I feel like a cradle has "fallen". I feel like I didn't catch it, didn't even try. They hurt. They make choices. They walk a smidge away from the "safety zone". And what do I do? Watch. And pray. And sometimes yell. And sometimes cry. Sometimes, I throw my hands up and wait for the inevitable. The sorrow and the angst. That's the hardest. Watching as they walk up to the axe murderer and ask him to pretty please not kill them. Or they run away in high heels.
And then I say things. Sometimes, those things cause wounds. I don't mean to. I'm just scared for them. However once the words are out, that is pretty much it. I can't shove them back into my mouth, can't pretend I didn't say them. So I don't. Instead, I apologize and try and explain my fear and my sorrows. There are some things they expose themselves to that I wish I could erase from their minds. Wish I could take on for them. These things cause me no end of hurt FOR them, no end of sorrow. With all my blustering, they just don't get that. The weight is enormous.
It's times like these that I just look up at the Lord and wonder at His mercy and grace. I wonder that we constantly are talking to axe murderers and He is oh so patiently loving us. Patiently watching and waiting to take our burdens. I am so grateful that His words don't cause wounds. I am so thankful that He allows for my tears and my fears. (poetry in motion) The super grand thing is that He is that same way with the girls. And for that I am super duper thankful. No amount of wind can shake us out of the tree that He holds....we will never fall.
I no longer run in high heels.....it's a health hazard.
Everyday, I feel like a cradle has "fallen". I feel like I didn't catch it, didn't even try. They hurt. They make choices. They walk a smidge away from the "safety zone". And what do I do? Watch. And pray. And sometimes yell. And sometimes cry. Sometimes, I throw my hands up and wait for the inevitable. The sorrow and the angst. That's the hardest. Watching as they walk up to the axe murderer and ask him to pretty please not kill them. Or they run away in high heels.
And then I say things. Sometimes, those things cause wounds. I don't mean to. I'm just scared for them. However once the words are out, that is pretty much it. I can't shove them back into my mouth, can't pretend I didn't say them. So I don't. Instead, I apologize and try and explain my fear and my sorrows. There are some things they expose themselves to that I wish I could erase from their minds. Wish I could take on for them. These things cause me no end of hurt FOR them, no end of sorrow. With all my blustering, they just don't get that. The weight is enormous.
It's times like these that I just look up at the Lord and wonder at His mercy and grace. I wonder that we constantly are talking to axe murderers and He is oh so patiently loving us. Patiently watching and waiting to take our burdens. I am so grateful that His words don't cause wounds. I am so thankful that He allows for my tears and my fears. (poetry in motion) The super grand thing is that He is that same way with the girls. And for that I am super duper thankful. No amount of wind can shake us out of the tree that He holds....we will never fall.
I no longer run in high heels.....it's a health hazard.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Things not said
Have I told you I love you? I do, you know. I believe everyone that reads my blog is brought to it by God. He loves you, therefore I love you. Does that mean anything to you?
The phrase "I love you" is whispered in the dark, shouted across a crowd, softly spoken in a hospital room and in our girls' case, said everytime they get off the phone with whoever. It's said numerous ways in countless languages by mass amounts of people. Its lost its charm, its meaning.
With every "I love you" is something that's not said. Maybe it's said because it's expected, out of "duty". Maybe it's said because there's nothing else to say. Perhaps it's habitual, part of a routine. What I don't say to Matty when I say I love him is that I have CHOSEN to love him on this day, any given day. Sometimes, when I say it to the girls it's said grudgingly. Reminding myself that I do indeed love them. I say it to my dad....he says nothing back. It's that nothing said that I know he does love me.
We don't tell the people in our lives all the things we think. We ask someone how they are doing all the while thinking of who we will talk to next. Often, I think it would be nice if we just said "Give me the short version, 5 words or less". It would save feelings and time. Isn't that what we're looking for? Easier ways to NOT talk to people? Because our time is so precious....so many important things to do. Because really, that's what we're doing. We don't say the things we want to. We give the "right" answers, tell the "right" stories and zoom away. We laugh at the right times, cry at appropriate moments and show fear when it's called for. What we don't say sometimes speaks volumes about who we are.
And most of the time, things not said are the sweetest moments. A look across the room, a snuggle from a teen age girl. A laugh over gatorade. A feather pillow fight, watching "grown up" girls play barbies. A touch on my shoulder, a surprise tea. Sometimes, words aren't needed. Silence can be warm, comforting and bring a closeness. And that's all good.
When I ask you how you are, I want your true answer. I won't say I love you unless I mean it. I promise to listen when you need it and be honest when you ask me something. I promise to sit in silence with you. I do love you. You are amazing, brought here by God. And that is the truth....and should be said.
The phrase "I love you" is whispered in the dark, shouted across a crowd, softly spoken in a hospital room and in our girls' case, said everytime they get off the phone with whoever. It's said numerous ways in countless languages by mass amounts of people. Its lost its charm, its meaning.
With every "I love you" is something that's not said. Maybe it's said because it's expected, out of "duty". Maybe it's said because there's nothing else to say. Perhaps it's habitual, part of a routine. What I don't say to Matty when I say I love him is that I have CHOSEN to love him on this day, any given day. Sometimes, when I say it to the girls it's said grudgingly. Reminding myself that I do indeed love them. I say it to my dad....he says nothing back. It's that nothing said that I know he does love me.
We don't tell the people in our lives all the things we think. We ask someone how they are doing all the while thinking of who we will talk to next. Often, I think it would be nice if we just said "Give me the short version, 5 words or less". It would save feelings and time. Isn't that what we're looking for? Easier ways to NOT talk to people? Because our time is so precious....so many important things to do. Because really, that's what we're doing. We don't say the things we want to. We give the "right" answers, tell the "right" stories and zoom away. We laugh at the right times, cry at appropriate moments and show fear when it's called for. What we don't say sometimes speaks volumes about who we are.
And most of the time, things not said are the sweetest moments. A look across the room, a snuggle from a teen age girl. A laugh over gatorade. A feather pillow fight, watching "grown up" girls play barbies. A touch on my shoulder, a surprise tea. Sometimes, words aren't needed. Silence can be warm, comforting and bring a closeness. And that's all good.
When I ask you how you are, I want your true answer. I won't say I love you unless I mean it. I promise to listen when you need it and be honest when you ask me something. I promise to sit in silence with you. I do love you. You are amazing, brought here by God. And that is the truth....and should be said.
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