Havoc

Last week, during my fantastic vacation with two of our girls, I was confronted by the reality of how rocks keep tumbling. And I began to wonder how someone could hold on to so much anger and resentment. How someone could claim to love someone else but be so bitter about his past. Yes, this is about one of my ex husbands. I will not bash....on this you have my word.
I have decided that Facebook is either a great tool or a tool of havoc. While I was gone, havoc was wreaked upon one of my girls who was home. Some words were said about me and Matty....unflattering things. Things that caused great sorrow in our girl. Things that caused our girl to sob. It breaks my heart that my actions so long ago have caused rocks to tumble. Yet....shall I really claim responsibility for his words? His actions? Perhaps it was my sin that began the avalanche, but when I repented and asked for forgiveness (from God and from him) was I not released? How long will the anger last, the bitterness cause a rift? He blames me for the shift in his relationship with the girls....however, that is not on me. A person makes their own decisions, chooses how to live their life. Sometimes pretends to move on, still holding on to anger, hurt and sorrow. I see their heartache, these daughters. The sorrow they feel, the frustration with broken promises and words that cause wounds. His anger to me has blinded his reality. And yet...how often do I do that? Allow something said to fester and become deep seeded? How about you? How often do you ignore someone because of a hurt or a slight? Every situation isn't like mine was 11 years ago, but I'm willing to bet we can all think of a situation where we're holding on to the madness of it all. And it's junk...stuff that causes us to lose focus....to disorient us and make us crazy. And sometimes, we hurt the innocents. For our own "gain" we hurt people we love. I believe he loves his daughters....I just think he hates me more. And for that I am sorry.
She's ok, our girl. We prayed and they called him out on it. The words still sit on his facebook page, with comments I will never repeat. Didn't hurt me, just made me really angry that these girls saw all of it. As a result, 2 of the girls defriended him. Every action has a consequence.....I took credit for this stuff for a long time as a consequence of my actions. Not anymore...I am free. Daughter of the most High King. Beloved.
I want to live better than that. Be more and love well. I will serve Him, love my husband and train up these girls. What someone else chooses to do is their business.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!