The Matter of What Does

When it's all over, when the song has been sang, when the well has run dry and all the homes are empty and barren....will it really matter?

Will it matter that there are holes in the ceiling.....what kind of car you drove or how big your house was? Will it matter if you got a tattoo....how many piercings you had or who your friends were? Will it matter how someone dressed....how much money was in your savings account or how high up on the job chain you were? Will it matter how clean your house was....how big your t.v was or what school your kid went to?

WILL IT MATTER?

We put so much into making sure those things MATTER. We choose friends based on who we think fit into our neat little boxes. We brag about the latest technological thing we've gotten. We compare our phones....see who's phone has the most bells and whistles. We secretly watch as other people spend money and talk about them later. We very carefully remove ourselves from people we think aren't quite up to our 'level'. We judge based on past experience, deciding that if that person is one of "those" people, we should stay away. We compare our homes, our children, our cars. We compare our sins.....and try to come out on the lower sin "spectrum". We put on our Sunday best and pretend we have it all together.

In reality, we're broken. We should be making the sin matter. We should own up, take accountability and shout from the rooftops that we're restored, forgiven and redeemed! We should reach out, inside our church family AND out. Sometimes, we spend so much time reaching out and trying to make things matter that we forget to reach IN. There are sad, lonely people all around us. And some of them are in your circle....some of them live in your home. Some silently scream, asking to matter. Yet, we overlook. We ignore. We avoid.

And that is what matters.

When it's all said and done, and we've been called home, our house will be a home to someone else. There will be tribulation and sorrows. But our home....it will be a home. They will see evidence of a family, evidence of love. They will find our bibles, our devotion books, our bible studies. They will uncover our secrets, wonder perhaps why there are so many holes in our ceiling. (stars, twirlies, balloons...you name it, it's been in my ceiling) I can only pray they'll take care of Murphy.

The truth it, what matters is this time. Right now. How you're spending it. Who you're loving on. How you're serving God. Stop living in your bubble...break out and begin to matter.

I am a sinner. Some would say of the "worst" kind...the great thing is, God doesn't see it that way. I am forgiven, beloved and redeemed. He knows my name. I matter. He doesn't care what car I drive, how big my house is or what "toys" I have. He cares about my tears, my heart, my hurts, my joys. My laughter....my anger. That is what matters...my relationship with Him.

So....in the matter of what does, where do you stand?
Remember....He loves you much....

Fairytales and other Horror Stories....

Once upon a time, there lived a queen. This queen had 4 beautiful daughters and 1 amazing step son. This queen was bored, tired of all the things that ruled her world. She wanted adventure and excitement. Her king no longer held her favor.

One day a dashing knight entered her life. He was exciting! He was adventurous! He was YOUNG! The queen and the knight began a love affair. Her marriage to the king fell apart, ruined by her tawdry behavior. She didn't care. All that mattered was herself. Her young princesses knew nothing different, her young prince was oblivious. The king felt the weight of his sorrow immensely. So immensely, he left the kingdom.

Soon after, the queen discovered a new royal one was on it's way. Well! The knight was overjoyed. The queen and king dissolved their marriage and the knight and the queen were married soon after. The queen crawled out of the pit she had chosen to live in, her heart softened once again.

She was reminded who she was, who God had created her to be. He showed her the sorrow she had caused across the kingdom, the sorrow she had caused the king. Her heart was heavy. She knew God could take her new child, the bible held a story similar to hers. She knew God could take it all away. Tearfully she spoke to God. She asked for forgiveness, she begged Him to change her heart completely. She asked for the king's forgiveness. Alas, his heart was the hard one now. He held onto his anger, allowing it to color everything he did. The queen knew this was a price she would have to pay for her folly.....knew his pain was her doing.

However, God reminded her that she was forgiven. Her sin was as far as the East from the West. She was redeemed, restored and beloved.

The knight was good to her, her princesses and to the princesses they had together. He loved them and they loved him. The queen grew in faith, sharing her tale to anyone that asked, knowing it was a risk. That perhaps her subjects wouldn't love her, would turn away when they saw the outline of that scarlet "A". Some did. Some kept their distance, letting the past define who they saw. Others embraced the queen, loving her always and anyways.

Sadly, the king lived his life in sorrow and anger, his heart bearing bitterness. His relationship with his princesses faltered. They were cautious about him as they grew. The queen sorrowed for lost relationship and more than once tried to take accountability. However, God reminded her that she belonged to Him and the king's folly was now his own.

The princesses grew up strong and healthy. They grew into beautiful young women, knowing the Lord and trying to follow His plan. The queen and knight enjoyed their lives together, not always so happy....but together nonetheless. The knight came to know Christ, his relationship true.

The queen was happy. She had adventure. She had love. She had joy.

She is forgiven, grace is sufficient and God is enough.

Amazing how a horror story can turn into a fairytale......

Don't you Know?

This entry was originally going to be some drivel about me turning 40. But I erased it. So now....it's about beauty.

There is a song that the chorus is "Don't you know, don't you know that you're beautiful?" 3 years ago, I would've said yes. Maybe even 2 years ago. But now...now I just DON'T know.

You see, I equate beauty with how good I feel my figure is. And really, isn't that what we're taught?? We see thin, beautiful women on t.v. all the time. They accost us in magazines, look at us from billboards and make us laugh or cry from the big screen. The media has a hay day if a famous woman is caught, heaven forbid, looking NORMAL! Then the aforementioned woman goes on national television to show off her NEW body...the thinner, more "beautiful" her. Does she know she was beautiful before??

I know beauty is more than a figure, more than a current trend. I know it because I say it all the time to our girls. But that doesn't apply to me. I don't have to believe it, I just have to pass the message along. Right?! WRONG!

I need to believe it. I struggle so much with feeling like the odd duck, the sheep no one wants to talk to. And a part of me believes that maybe if I looked like the other sheep, was as beautiful as the flock, then maybe I would be liked better. Because, of course, I believe that how beautiful you are directly leads to how people like you. Hmmm, there seems to be a flaw in my logic. So what's a girl to do?

I know some of you are scratching your head (Yes, I 'm talking to YOU), thinking "Erin, you are so NOT a sheep at all." Don't let the pink hair fool you, sometimes I need to know I'm beautiful too. Just like all the other pretty sheep.

I look at our girls, and I think how lovely they all are. Loud, opinionated, sweet girls....and all fair of face. Sometimes, I think God did that because He knows how I feel about myself. There are things I can change, things I can work on. But what really needs the work is my mind set. It's flawed, with HUGE holes in it. I need to remember that I am MORE than my jean size, more than the number on the scale. I need to remember that I was created in HIS image....and He is Beeeeeyouuuuutiiiiifullll!

I need to believe the words I say to the girls, need to grasp them and hold tight. I need to remember the way He loves me.....and that He purposely created me. I am a part of His plan....every inch of me. And that is a grand thing.


How about you? Don't you know YOU'RE beautiful?!