The Art of Breaking

Every time a glass breaks in my house, I get a little cranky. And afterward I always think in my head that "next time, I will just laugh it off". I never do. Tonight, the 4th glass this month was broken. I grabbed the dog, a girl swept and I told the girl who did how it would've been different if only she'd........

Wow. That is NOT who I want to be. Every day so many things get broken. Glasses, t.v.s, anything. You name it and it can probably get broken. But tonight, I broke something far more important than a glass. I chipped away at her spirit. And I fear that someday there may be so many chinks that she shatters.

It's an art, breaking someone. I know. I was/have been broken. A parental telling me I wouldn't amount to anything. A husband (the first) headbutting me. My daughter yelling she hated me. A husband telling me tiny little stupid lies. And sometimes, I feel so broken that I'm not sure how to hold up. Occasionally, I find myself chinking away at Matty, chinking away at the girls. Bit by bit, I can see and hear myself breaking them. And sometimes, I feel helpless to stop it. I get going and can't always quit. It's like a stone rolling down a hill. Sigh.

Everyone is fragile. Their hearts, their lives. We wait for a word....we wait for silence. We wait for the "shatter". We "shatter" someone else. We run up against ourselves, we become the one who's getting broken. We tell ourselves that we're stupid, why did I do that. We realize our faults in hurting others, never in hurting ourselves. Why is that?

There is One who treats me like I am a precious stone. He will never break me. He reminds me not to shatter the glass. He reminds me that even if something breaks, He is mighty to fix it. He gently and sometimes forcefully reprimands me....these are His children, treat them well. He reminds me that a glass is just a glass, but their hearts are more valuable. He holds my hand when I fail, gives me courage to begin again. He loves me, just as I am.


I probably won't laugh it off when the next glass breaks.....but I'll try. I will, however, be more cautious with the glass that is my daughters. They deserve that.