A Moment Too Long

We've all had one. That moment you see an attractive person of the opposite sex. You glance at them, surprised they're looking at you. You hold their gaze. Then suddenly....your mind is going. And for a moment, you forget everything else but the fact that you are desirable to someone. But, um...HELLO! That person isn't your spouse. We all seek affirmation, desire attention and yearn for validation. And sometimes, when we think we're missing it, we're willing to allow those too long moments.

I believe it happens in every marriage. I don't think it's intentional, nor do I think every glance is inappropriate. I don't think every gaze leads to adultery. I do think that sometimes it leads to thinking about your own spouse. Perhaps even thinking about what it is you feel you've been missing. Or thinking about what you WISH your spouse would think/do/say.

At the very core, the very root, is dissatisfaction. An unmet expectation. There are a million things our spouses may do in a day/week/month/year to absolutely annoy us. In one of those moments, you can bet the enemy is going to try to shatter a brick in your/my marriage. We don't even know there's a fight yet. So we don't protect. Our defenses are down, we are caught unawares. And before you know....it's been a moment too long.

The thoughts you may entertain, but never expound on, are dangerous. More explosive are the ones you do act upon. A cup of coffee. Befriending on social networks. Texting.
Maybe even video chat. Sometimes, it's not even a person in person. It's someone online. You cultivate a relationship. Tell all your troubles and they commiserate. Before long, they are the missing piece to your angst. And you are sinking.

Since wearing the letter "A", I have had a few moments. Just glances, gazes. However, I shut it down. Because I've been there. My defenses go up, my bulwark is built and I SHUT MY MIND DOWN. Maybe Matty and I have had "that same old argument". Maybe he's said something I don't like. Whatever it is, I recognize that vulnerability. I see it, I own it and I embrace it. I search out my heart, PRAY and hold my thoughts captive. Everyone likes to be noticed. Everyone likes attention. Everyone likes to know that someone finds them attractive. That's where is has to stop.

We have to hold tight to our marriages. We must stand together against the enemy. We must be united. Next time you have a moment too long, I hope it's with your spouse.


My favorite is when we're across the room from eachother. I look at him, he looks at me and I know I belong. I am his.