Mommyism

There is an unwritten rule that as a mother you just accept your children. You must be patient, must me tender and must at all times be the sane one. Yesterday I broke those rules. I was not patient, not tender and most assuredly NOT sane. In short, I had a breakdown. Yesterday was an "It's hard to be a mommy" day.

I didn't want to be a mommy. I wanted to have my breakdown in peace. Wanted to cry, yell and stamp my feet. Wanted to vent without the girls getting sullen, without having to worry about their teenage feelings. Truthfully, I wanted to be the kid. For just a little bit, I wanted to be the one without responsibility. Didn't happen. Know why? Cause I'm the MOMMY! And mommies can't have breakdowns.

Well, why NOT? I say "Mommies Unite!" We should have one whole day where we get to be the "kid", get to stamp our feet and holler like crazy about how no one understands us. We should be able to ignore our cel phones. Stop wearing the weight of our worlds on our backs....in short be able to breathe. WITHOUT someone shouting the word "MOM" at the top of their lungs.

Every mommy has a point. You know the one. It sends you over the edge, causes you to question your reasoning for having children in the first place. You think to yourself "Good gracious....WHAT was I thinking?!" Some women are just beginning. And it's oh so sweet. It's a wonderful journey you've begun....talk to me in 5 or 6 years. The journey is still sweet....it's just a little different. And then comes the teen years. (cue horror scream) With girls, it's always a party....yelling here, slamming door there....insert eye roll every other word. Petulance becomes the norm and the words "You don't care!" are spoken often. Tears happen almost as if scripted and my sanity goes right out the window.

Please don't get me wrong. I love our children, LOVE each one! There are just some days that it's hard to be a mom. Hard to shove my own emotions down, hard to ignore my own door slamming instinct. And when it happens, the girls act like I've done something so horrible, so awful they will never recover. And to that I say WHATEVER!
There will probably never be a "mommy" day. (Mother's Day just masquerades as one) Won't be a day where all the moms can just breathe, commiserate and enjoy a "no kid zone". But i say, go with it. When it happens, close your eyes and breathe. And remember, someone you know has probably already been where you are. And they survived. I will too and so will you.

It's not all like that. It's one day and it's ok to admit if you feel this way....chances are someone else is just waiting for one of us to admit it.