Well. 2020 is proving to be more exciting than 2019. And I'm not talking about my Disneyland trip in February with my parents. Although, I also went to Universal Studios and rode the new Jurassic Park ride.
I'm most definitely talking about Covid_19 and all the joys of isolating. Honestly, not much changed for me. I'm a SAHM...at home anyways. Plus, Little Bit home schools. No difference there! It was hard not seeing the grands; Idaho has since "re-opened" so I've seen and snuggled all FOUR! In a couple short weeks, we open the fireworks booth. For the first few months lasting forever, time seems to be moving quicker now!
I've had a lot of time to reflect and think. Which took me back to my childhood.
I grew up poor. We lived outside a small town. Our water was from a natural spring, we didn't have central heat and my dad hunted for our food (I WON'T eat game now). We owned a pizza place in the small town. I either worked, watched my younger sister or went out with a myriad of boys. The thing is, I didn't realize we were poor until we got a food box. My mom was very creative at Christmas...once she wrapped every present (not many) and put them in a larger wrapped box. I always knew my clothes weren't quite right, we shopped at Goodwill (that's so popular now! I still struggle with it) and didn't have much money for extras. I never had name brand clothes...but boy, did I want them! In the 80's, it was all about those names! (and, sometimes, it STILL is! Judging people by the name on clothing or accessories...tsk, tsk.) It just never clicked that we were poor.
I was always looking for a way out. Someone to "save" me, to love me, to carry the weight of all my sorrow. I hated that small town. And, honestly, I've never been back since 1990. I cringe inside myself when I think of going back there. I honestly believed if I got married, everything would change. I ended up pregnant at 17 and married at the same age. Funnily enough, we had actually left that small town when I was 16. Who knew?
At 47, I see things so much differently. Not about the town or how I feel about growing up there. I see MYSELF differently. I see how I didn't NEED someone to complete me because God already did. We put so many expectations in humans. We want them to fill voids, to be a rescuer, to provide security. Yet...while they may be able to do those things SOME of the time...they just really can't. Please don't misunderstand: I'm not sorry I got pregnant at 17. I'm not sorry I wrote the love stories that resulted in ANY of our children. I firmly believe He created them on purpose for HIS purpose!
If I could tell my young self anything, it would be this: He loves you. He is for you. You are WORTHY! REST.
We aren't wealthy by any means. We've worked hard to pay off debt, we've utilized food stamps and medicaid. We've also worked very hard to instill in our girls that the name on your clothes isn't what makes you worthy. I've been very blessed to be able to go to my "happy place" quite often...what people don't know is that those trips are often gifted! Really, though, it isn't anyone's business.
We all have stories. We all come from somewhere. Tell me yours.
God sees you. God is for you. God loves you. You are worthy. REST.
Sunday, June 7, 2020
Wednesday, January 15, 2020
Year in Review
I can not believe it's 2020. I'm hoping this is a banner year! In the meantime, let's review 2019.
This time last year, we were planning and excited about our trip to Italy. Before Europe, Matt and I had an adventure with my parents...California! Disneyland, Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm make for a busy but FUN trip! We drove down and back! I drove across the country with my sister-in-law. Got to see the Billy Graham museum and meet some sweet sisters in the P31 family! That was a blessing to be sure!
Traveling to Europe was by far a most amazing experience. S, H and I arrived in Italy (Matt flew separately), stayed overnight at K and T's then headed off to Venice. From there we took an overnight train to Munich. I LOVED Germany! It was beautiful, the people were nice and the food was good. We flew out that night to Ireland, where we spent 3 nights in a little village outside Dublin. As much as I LOVED Germany, I LOVED LOVED Ireland! The food was great, S had her first drink, the Air BnB had a couple of dogs that the girls could play with and Matt got to drive fast on the OTHER side of the road! After our whirlwind trip, back to Italy we went. Where we spent Matt's last day exploring a cavern. 500 steps down=500 steps up. Whew! The girls and I had a week left...we spent it exploring Venice, went to the ocean (soft sand and crazy sea shells), enjoying the small village T and K live close to and eating all the food. Gelato EVERY day!
Getting home, we quickly prepared for Savannah's graduation and party! *joint with her very good friend* It was literally the weekend after we got home. Shortly after, S left for McCall for her summer job. H followed soon after, spending a couple weeks working and 1 as a camper. Matt and I were ALONE. It was nice.
July rolled around with fireworks, as usual. That's always a busy time and after it's over, I feel like time goes faster. Head into fall and school begins, S moves back home after one job to begin another. Halloween, Thanksgiving and shopping take place. Matt began a new job at the local VA hospital. Sometime, during all the chaos, a Disneyland trip was planned. Just 3 girls: S, Emily and myself. Thanks to our girls and some dear friends, my trip cost next to nothing! What a joyous time...full of fun, sweet memories and FOOD! Christmas was happening when we got back....cookies, movies and REST on the agenda.
It's kind of funny. I have this idea that we're never busy. That we never have anything to do. And sure, there are those times...but really, we are always having an adventure. And God is right there. I see His hand, His authorship over my life. There were some not great things that happened, too. Things that hurt, things that cause growth, boundaries that were set. The puzzle shifted. Those things are His, too.
Jeremy, Hillary and girls are good. Those girls are something else, that's for sure!
Emily is dating a nice guy and working at the hospital. She's adulting very well.
Cody, Chellsei and Q are thriving...Q will be a big brother come April.
Tim and Kaily are on to the next adventure! Can't wait to see them again!
Savannah is currently a nanny. She loves it! Her future holds college and jumping into what God has in store.
Harley is still a junior in high school. Let me have this one! She continues to follow the Lord and shines bright.
Murphy is getting old, Whisper isn't as lick-y.
Matt and I are well...it's a good thing we like each other! Grown up kids= Time with just us. It's different, but good.
I am reminded, as I head into 2020, that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.
2020, you have a heck of a predecessor. Can't wait to see what God has in store.
This time last year, we were planning and excited about our trip to Italy. Before Europe, Matt and I had an adventure with my parents...California! Disneyland, Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm make for a busy but FUN trip! We drove down and back! I drove across the country with my sister-in-law. Got to see the Billy Graham museum and meet some sweet sisters in the P31 family! That was a blessing to be sure!
Traveling to Europe was by far a most amazing experience. S, H and I arrived in Italy (Matt flew separately), stayed overnight at K and T's then headed off to Venice. From there we took an overnight train to Munich. I LOVED Germany! It was beautiful, the people were nice and the food was good. We flew out that night to Ireland, where we spent 3 nights in a little village outside Dublin. As much as I LOVED Germany, I LOVED LOVED Ireland! The food was great, S had her first drink, the Air BnB had a couple of dogs that the girls could play with and Matt got to drive fast on the OTHER side of the road! After our whirlwind trip, back to Italy we went. Where we spent Matt's last day exploring a cavern. 500 steps down=500 steps up. Whew! The girls and I had a week left...we spent it exploring Venice, went to the ocean (soft sand and crazy sea shells), enjoying the small village T and K live close to and eating all the food. Gelato EVERY day!
Getting home, we quickly prepared for Savannah's graduation and party! *joint with her very good friend* It was literally the weekend after we got home. Shortly after, S left for McCall for her summer job. H followed soon after, spending a couple weeks working and 1 as a camper. Matt and I were ALONE. It was nice.
July rolled around with fireworks, as usual. That's always a busy time and after it's over, I feel like time goes faster. Head into fall and school begins, S moves back home after one job to begin another. Halloween, Thanksgiving and shopping take place. Matt began a new job at the local VA hospital. Sometime, during all the chaos, a Disneyland trip was planned. Just 3 girls: S, Emily and myself. Thanks to our girls and some dear friends, my trip cost next to nothing! What a joyous time...full of fun, sweet memories and FOOD! Christmas was happening when we got back....cookies, movies and REST on the agenda.
It's kind of funny. I have this idea that we're never busy. That we never have anything to do. And sure, there are those times...but really, we are always having an adventure. And God is right there. I see His hand, His authorship over my life. There were some not great things that happened, too. Things that hurt, things that cause growth, boundaries that were set. The puzzle shifted. Those things are His, too.
Jeremy, Hillary and girls are good. Those girls are something else, that's for sure!
Emily is dating a nice guy and working at the hospital. She's adulting very well.
Cody, Chellsei and Q are thriving...Q will be a big brother come April.
Tim and Kaily are on to the next adventure! Can't wait to see them again!
Savannah is currently a nanny. She loves it! Her future holds college and jumping into what God has in store.
Harley is still a junior in high school. Let me have this one! She continues to follow the Lord and shines bright.
Murphy is getting old, Whisper isn't as lick-y.
Matt and I are well...it's a good thing we like each other! Grown up kids= Time with just us. It's different, but good.
I am reminded, as I head into 2020, that God is good all the time and all the time God is good.
2020, you have a heck of a predecessor. Can't wait to see what God has in store.
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