The "UN"invitation

Remember in grade school how exciting it was to get an invitation to a party? Remember how it felt if you DIDN'T get the invitation? Just me? Okay, I'll roll with it.

I thought as an adult, it would be different. It's not. I turn right back into that little girl when people are talking about the fun party they attended. That I wasn't invited to. And my heart hurts. Because, I thought I was friends with this person. I thought, if we weren't friends, we were on our way there. And...I'm 6.

As children, we understand the not being invited. But it's easier to get diverted from the knowing. As an adult, it's much harder. You realize that you were not, in fact, invited. I wonder if men struggle like this? They seem to go through life much easier. A slap on the back and a "See ya". Wish I could do that. Instead, I'm stuck here...in uninvited land.

I did a bible study by Lysa TerKeurst called "Uninvited". Boy, did I need it at the exact moment it came into my life! Through that study, I came to realize that wherever I was, at any given moment, I was invited by God to be there. That no matter what other invitations I DIDN'T get, I was invited by Him to be where I was. That's pretty strong. Sadly, I'm human....prone to human feelings and human hurts....and the pain that comes with the "un"invitation.

I'm trying. I'm trying to be a grown up. I'm trying to see the people that might be on the fringes of my own circle. *I have one; it's small* I don't want anyone to feel like they're not the "right" type of person, like they're not important, like they aren't worthy. I've felt (and sometimes, feel) that way. Everyone wants an invitation. And in our human nature, we want it from peers.

As a believer, I believe in the body of Christ. I believe that we need to rally around, draw strength from and support one another. I believe we should love (this is SO HARD for me!) others, even if we don't think they're lovable. AND...we should extend an invite. Into our homes, our hearts and lives. I've gotten away from that. I've been the not inviter.

You're invited. Come have dinner, let's chat a while. Let's have coffee and cry a bit. Let's pray together. And let's remember, that no matter what you're NOT invited to, the Lord has invited you to be right where you are....no matter where you are.

What a Wonderful World

Hi! I realized it's been almost a year since I've written. Over here, life is good. It's settled down since the "great back surgery" year. We HAVE (just Matt and I) gone to Disneyland...with my parents. Plus, we hit Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm. It was a busy 12 days. We're gearing up for Italy in less than a month. I'm SO excited! I'm still volunteering with Proverbs 31 Ministries and LOVING it. I LOVE being part of this ministry...the relationships I've built, the studies I've led...My heart is full.

But...can I just be honest? I'm lonely sometimes. And I'm not always sure how to step past that. I know part of it is me. I also know part of it is the rest of the world.

God has invited me to be in the exact place I am at any given minute. (learned *and held on to* that doing the "Uninvited" study by Lysa TerKeurst) Yet, sometimes, it's lonely.

Leading the studies I've led, I've learned to be more at peace with where I am. Yet...I'm only human! I've found that women like to put on their "Sunday Face". You ask how someone is and they say fine as they breeze by. And there you are, heart hurting and wondering why YOU'RE not fine. Because it sure does seem like the rest of the world has it together and you're broken like always, stuck in your messy middle. It's lonely there. Guess what I learned in the last study I did? God specializes in the broken. God creates from our dust....AND He knows about our 'messy middles'.

I've learned, from leading, that we need to share our messy more. Your messy won't look like mine *or part of it might!* and that's okay. Sharing isn't being stuck. And if it does look similar, we can talk about that. You aren't alone...neither am I. We shouldn't have to feel alone. We shouldn't have to feel lonely.

It's a wonderful, complex, sometimes scary world we live in. I want to rally with you. I want to cry, laugh and just sit in comfortable silence with you. I want to ease your hurting heart, hear your anger and commiserate with your joy/sadness.

Please understand, I KNOW that God is the only relationship I NEED. He is the lover of my soul, my Lord and my Savior. He can fill every void. Yet...I believe He wants us to fill space around others. I think He wants us to be vulnerable, open and crumbled together. He doesn't want any of us to be lonely.

So, let's not be lonely. Let's have coffee, do lunch, chat about nothing. Let's love each other, let's be vulnerable. Let's pray together. Let's help each other through the hard things and not forget when it gets better that we're still needed.

God is good, all the time. See you soon-ish.