If you were to look on my social media pages, you would see lots of pictures of smiling people. People in Disneyland, people with arms wrapped around each other in loving hugs, people gazing into each others eyes with joy. You would see a tidy clean house, food made pretty, a large family gathered around playing games. Is that real life? You bet! Is it ALWAYS real life? Not a chance.
I was sitting on my couch, watching my favorite show. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of a pair of Snow White dress up shoes. On my orange bench. Where they do NOT belong. I seriously considered putting them away. I didn't. What I thought next is that I need to snap a picture and post it. That's REAL life. Toys not put away, folded (at least it's folded) laundry on my dining table. Miscellaneous items strewn about my countertop (which has been re-done...for the official record!) and baby items willy nilly on the floor.
We tend to only post the good. The things that put us in the right light, things that make it seem like life is just peachy. But...what if it's not? What if, at those family game nights, there is a tremendous fight? What if the tidy house picture is taken in the ONLY spot that is clean? What if every other plate of food looks terrible?? We let our moments be defined by what "looks" good. We show those because the alternative is raw, emotional and defenseless.
Real life doesn't happen with roses and sunshine. Real life is in the trenches....when kids fight, the baby won't sleep, when you're threatened by someone else's relationship with someone you love, when money is tight and it seems to be "raining" every day. Real life is hitting the floor with your knees, crying out to God to get you through one more day, please let the baby sleep, please provide, please...please....please. Real life is fighting with your spouse, being sad because you don't have one, crying because you're far from home, being angry because someone let you down. Real life is vulnerable.
Real life is also busy...we really do volunteer at functions, we have been to Disneyland twice in 6 months, we sold fireworks for a week, our girls go to camp...one as a counselor. What you don't see is the exhaustion, the long gaps between attending church, the not spending time with each other, the missed snuggles and the fights because we feel distant. Real life is knowing you have this moment...don't waste it. Real life is remembering that people are more important than things...really remembering! Real life is loving others, even when we don't have the "want" to. Real life is a simple touch, a pat on the back, truly listening, laughing at the big and little things. Real life is a quiet night at home or a boisterous game night. Real life is caring when they're sick, holding your tongue and crying when they cry. Real life is.....real.
I'm going to try to be more real. I'm a pretty open book anyway, but I'm going to be more. Maybe if I am, someone else will be too. Maybe if we all are a little more real, we can take strength from each other.
I didn't put the Snow White shoes away. They're still sitting there. Real life is knowing the sweet grandgirl who wears them will be over again soon. Enjoy this life, friends.
