Transparent

Good Morning! As I write this, I'm sitting on my bed with my dog. And his toy. Matty has already left for his duty as the Sound Man for church today. The house is quiet after our long night out. We went to a Bastille concert, waited around after until almost midnight and met the band. It always amazes me how God truly honors hearts, as He honored sweet Harley's wish to meet them. The things you think might not matter....those matter to the King of kings!

It's it crazy how we think we can hide things? In reality, everything is seen. We, as humans, think we hide actions, thoughts and even our disobedient hearts. We put up walls around ourselves and think no one can see. We do things under cover of night, in secret in the day. We justify things based on our feelings. Guess what! God sees you/me!We are completely transparent before Him. No hiding. He sees the sorrow we put ourselves into...He longs to restore us!

I have recently met a young mother who found out her husband had an app on his phone. Yup, one of THOSE apps. Automatically, she believes it's her fault. Maybe she's not pretty enough, maybe she's not thin enough, maybe she's not having sex with him enough. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe. He feels bad. Says he deserves to have pain in his life. They go to a pastor to seek counseling.

And this is where I struggle. He tells them that they DO need to have more relations. That that IS part of the problem....and that it's HER responsibility. WHAT?? His sin is NOT her fault. Why is it that when people sin, there's justification as to why it's ok? More importantly, how do I convince this young woman that her husband has to take accountability....that, while intimacy is important, it could've been the same outcome if they'd been intimate 5 times a day??!

I know how. I pray. I pray for God to give her wisdom and clarity. I pray for her husband to get help, Godly counsel and to be transparent. I pray her wounded heart heal and his would truly love his wife. I pray God's peace for their young family, and joy past all this sorrow.

Being transparent is hard. It's easy to put up a shield, let people only see the "Sunday" you. The "Everything is great!" you. I've tried desperately to be transparent in my life, in this blog. I am a sinner, saved by God's grace. ONLY by His grace. There is nothing else. The me you guys read is the me I am at home. We need to open up. We need to show our transparent selves to the people in our lives. Imagine how we could love and support each other knowing the things we try to hide.

You all know my past. (if you've read all my blogs anyways) And the truth is, by me putting it out there, others have come to me. They've come to say they've struggled with similar things. What a relief to know I'm not alone!

Now, I'm not saying you have to share all the dirt. That is between you and God. What I AM suggesting is that you pray about it. You know that uncomfortable niggle that God gives when He wants you to do something? Be aware of it....then be obedient. Chances are, someone needs to hear where you've been. And they need to know that God's grace is there. God sees you....ALL of you. You can hide from the world. Not from Him.

This young couple....well, just pray for them. My heart hurts for both of them. It's easy to get angry at him, for her. I have to remember that is NOT the attitude to have. Their lives are open, for people to see. Hidden sins come to light.

If you know the Lord, please pray for them. If you don't, well, He's waiting for you. He loves you with a passion that surpasses understanding. The only reason I'm brave enough to tell my story is because He gives me strength.

God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. See you next time.

WHEW!

Hello, world! Finally, my blog stopped telling me that I had to have administrative access to log in! Good Golly...I don't know where to start. So much MUCH has happened.

I'll start with updates!

Matty and I are doing well, growing and riding the roller coaster that is life! Savannah continues homeschooling...there have been some hiccups, but it's all overcomable.(my own word) Harley is finishing up her very last year at TVCS and is looking forward to attending Jr.High with her very good friend. We've decided that this is our experiences over things year and we're off to a great start! A couple concerts under our belts, a ballet and another concert to come. We're heading to WA in the summer for a mission trip. I continue to heal from frozen shoulder surgery...a manipulation and a small incision was all it took to take away my pain. Still working on motion! Matt just turned 41. We celebrated with friends and family. He continues to amaze me.

J and Hillary continue to thrive. He's got a job he enjoys and Hillary is still a SAHM. (hardest job EVER for the record) Miss Reyasunshine is the SWEETEST ever. She has the most darling heart and loves to make sure everything is alright with everyone. Piper is the sassy to her sisters sweet! That girl....she is something else! She loves her Papi most of all. I'm second. Can't wait to see how these girls grow!

Emily is working at the hospital as a patient specialist. While she enjoys it, she doesn't always enjoy the overnight shifts she often has. We continue to pray for her to grab a hold of God and not let go. She knows Him, He's just waiting for her to fall upon Him. We are so very proud of her! She flies away in September to visit her sister in Italy. I'm a little jealous.

Chellsei and Cody....THEY'RE HAVING A BABY! We are so very excited to have watched their marriage grow since July. They struggle a bit to find balance having 2 families to celebrate holidays with. I know they'll figure it out. Cody has the job internship he's wanted and Chellsei is looking forward to no more college! They both graduate in May. Watching God's plan for their lives unfold is such a joy!

K and T are in Italy. Wine world. She says that they're offered wine everywhere they visit. They (lucky ducks) live an hour either direction for Ikea. The pictures she sends show how beautiful the area is that she's in. They celebrated their 3 year anniversary in Venice. We hope to visit next year....she'll be home for a little bit when C has her baby, we'll *hopefully* visit mid 2018. We miss her lots, but enjoy video chatting often.

It's crazy how fast life moves. At our church, there are all these mamas who are so young. Their kids are anywhere from baby to 5 years old. They've created a "Mama Tribe". It brings a loving jealousy in my heart. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge it. I WISH I had experienced it! Here I am, though, on the other side. Our youngest is almost 15. In a few years, it will be just Matty and I. It's so crazy to know that those young mamas have so many years ahead that I've gone through. My goal is to be available to them. A different kind of support. I recognize that my almost being done lends a certain experience they may want to know about. So, young mamas, I'm here! Ask away!

God is so good to allow breath to fill my body each day. So gracious to allow me a wonderful partner to enjoy the rest of our years with. Life moves on, regardless of if we want it to or not. I'm going to enjoy it.