...kiss
....moment
.....day
......hug
............
The day is almost here. Tomorrow, our tall girl has her birthday. We are so joyful that we get to spend it with her; it's all tinged in "blue". The minutes went too fast, the days too full. And now, it's over.
She's going so very far away. We can't just drive to see/get/be with her. She is excited and nervous; has pretended all week that the day isn't coming. We all have kind of "ostriched"...head in sand, hearts in denial. Her sisters have soaked up moments, her daddy gathered hugs. I've treasured smiles and laughter.
This is one of those times I have to truly remember that she was never really mine.
She has always been His. He designed her, He gave us wisdom in raising her. He knew her future, He wrote her story. And now, I have to trust Him.
It seems so strange. They really do grow up and move into their own lives. It seems like they were babies just the other day....LOTS of other days!
Our youngest is 13 on Friday. Time is flying. It seems like there are never any "One More"s. Seems like life unravels faster than I can keep track of and girls grow quicker than I care to acknowledge. The irony is...I knew years ago I would 'lose' her to Germany. Just didn't know it would be this way.
I really am happy for them. Excited for the adventure that will soon unfold. I just, in my wistful heart, wish it wasn't happening. In my perfect space, our girls are all close by and I get to enjoy each one as grown women. While God has honored my heart in so many things, I recognize that my wistfulness is not His will. He loves me, He loves them. His plan is written, her story being revealed.
Her story isn't more important than any of the other girls'. It's just more noticeable, more prominent in our lives right this minute. So we cry, we laugh and we wish.
Just one more.
My dearest K:
I love you...every day, all the time...
...all your life and mine.
Enjoy the adventure sweets...we'll see you on the flipside.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Away We Go
Wow! It's been MONTHS since I've sat at this computer and let it all out. So much is happening....so very much.
To start, we are now parents of a 7th grader and a 9th grader. Our youngest is in 7th grade people! Holy cow...time flies. Second, E is graduating from college in the spring. From. College. C is getting ready to go into her junior year at BSU. And K...well, K is moving to Germany. Be still my heart. I thought New Mexico was bad...Germany is worse. I mean, it's exciting and all, but it's SO FAR AWAY! We're hoping to go visit next year. Praying to go visit.
Matty and I are good. We've had some bumps: his back went out, our funds are being used up by doctor bills, thought our car was dead and had a few medical scares...but we're breathing and living and growing.
Right now all six of our girls are under our roof. It feels nostalgic. There is laughter, fighting and sniffles. It's amazing how they walk into the house and revert to their space in the house. They slip into their roles...even the married ones. Even the grown up college girls. They hug their daddy and cuddle up to me. They get irritated with each other in one breath and hug each other the next.
This chapter, this last year, has been a hard one. It's been full of sorrow , restoration, joy and tears. Every year unfolds...sometimes I wish they wouldn't unfold so rapidly. I can see glimpses of the future, glimpses of what it appears our girls' lives are going to be. Who they're going to be with, what they're going to do. The women they're becoming amazes me. And even though this is the "natural order of things"....I still don't want it all to happen.
It's strange, only 4 of us at the house full time. C comes and goes, life beckons her. E is up north. H has her own little family to take care of. K is (going to be) in Germany. Life is quiet with only S and Little Bit. I miss the chaos. However, I know that even as they move on, adventure will unfold. I know that my life isn't done being written, that my story is still unfolding. That Matty and I have a life to live that doesn't involve the care of others. That even though we are always their parents, we are suddenly just us.
This transition is going to be hard. The moving way far away thing is what's hit the girls the most. K is happy to go, to be able to grow and explore with her husband. But she's soaking up her daddy hugs, her sister time and her mommy snuggles. She's getting teary thinking of moving away. We're happy she gets to go....sad to see her go. S is struggling quite a bit.
We can't forsee the adventures God has in store; can't guess at His plans. He has unfolded each girls life in a way that surprises us. We are ever so thankful to have been blessed to be the parents of such amazing and fabulous women. We are so very joyed to watch them grow and change. As hard as it is to let go, I am reminded they weren't really ours anyway.
So...I'm taking a breath, holding on while letting go. This year will unfold, regardless of if I want it to or not.
Away we go.....
To start, we are now parents of a 7th grader and a 9th grader. Our youngest is in 7th grade people! Holy cow...time flies. Second, E is graduating from college in the spring. From. College. C is getting ready to go into her junior year at BSU. And K...well, K is moving to Germany. Be still my heart. I thought New Mexico was bad...Germany is worse. I mean, it's exciting and all, but it's SO FAR AWAY! We're hoping to go visit next year. Praying to go visit.
Matty and I are good. We've had some bumps: his back went out, our funds are being used up by doctor bills, thought our car was dead and had a few medical scares...but we're breathing and living and growing.
Right now all six of our girls are under our roof. It feels nostalgic. There is laughter, fighting and sniffles. It's amazing how they walk into the house and revert to their space in the house. They slip into their roles...even the married ones. Even the grown up college girls. They hug their daddy and cuddle up to me. They get irritated with each other in one breath and hug each other the next.
This chapter, this last year, has been a hard one. It's been full of sorrow , restoration, joy and tears. Every year unfolds...sometimes I wish they wouldn't unfold so rapidly. I can see glimpses of the future, glimpses of what it appears our girls' lives are going to be. Who they're going to be with, what they're going to do. The women they're becoming amazes me. And even though this is the "natural order of things"....I still don't want it all to happen.
It's strange, only 4 of us at the house full time. C comes and goes, life beckons her. E is up north. H has her own little family to take care of. K is (going to be) in Germany. Life is quiet with only S and Little Bit. I miss the chaos. However, I know that even as they move on, adventure will unfold. I know that my life isn't done being written, that my story is still unfolding. That Matty and I have a life to live that doesn't involve the care of others. That even though we are always their parents, we are suddenly just us.
This transition is going to be hard. The moving way far away thing is what's hit the girls the most. K is happy to go, to be able to grow and explore with her husband. But she's soaking up her daddy hugs, her sister time and her mommy snuggles. She's getting teary thinking of moving away. We're happy she gets to go....sad to see her go. S is struggling quite a bit.
We can't forsee the adventures God has in store; can't guess at His plans. He has unfolded each girls life in a way that surprises us. We are ever so thankful to have been blessed to be the parents of such amazing and fabulous women. We are so very joyed to watch them grow and change. As hard as it is to let go, I am reminded they weren't really ours anyway.
So...I'm taking a breath, holding on while letting go. This year will unfold, regardless of if I want it to or not.
Away we go.....
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