I have been going about my life wrong. I've been doing "just enough" to get by. It dawned on me as I did my bible study this morning. I have been feeling such weight, such sorrow over how my life has seemed to fall apart that I forgot one crucial, very important thing: He is for me. And He wants more than my "just enough".
I've been walking through my days with just enough oomph to convince people I'm still human. I've been smiling just enough so that people around me won't realize that I feel broken. Or I've been wanting them to notice I'm broken....and tell me they love me.
I've been praying just enough. Just enough to feel connected, but not enough to be flat on my face. I've been feeling like I'm forgotten. In the midst of walking through this valley, I have been sidetracked by the "flowers" of sorrow. I keep looking at the things I don't have; I should be remembering all that I do have. I should be rejoicing over the fact that we have enough to make ends meet....however much of a gap there appears to be. Instead, I am looking at it all thinking of what it isn't.
It's hard, this whole trying to be "just enough". The reality is...I don't have to be anything. I have One in my life that is everything, and He wants me to remember that. There is nothing that is happening that isn't His. He hasn't left me; just let me wander a bit. I recognize that this is a theme in my blogs. It's because it's TRUE!
It's not enough to slightly do things. It's not enough to live like every day is falling down. It's not enough to 'try'....you have to DO. Believe me, if you're in a hurting place, I've been there. I may not know your specific pain, but I do know sorrow and pain. And, dear one, He does too.
I can't do "just enough" anymore. I want to step out in faith, believing that He will protect and guide me. I can't stop trusting and have to stop taking back my burdens. My study today reminded me that all I have to do is what He wants RIGHT NOW. Not in 10 minutes or in 5 hours....RIGHT NOW. And so I am.
Just enough isn't enough. Don't live like it is.
"The steps of a man are established by the Lord; And He delights in his way. When he falls, he shall not be hurled headlong; Because the Lord is the One who holds his hand." Psalm 37:23-24
Monday, September 16, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
To My Boys
A while back, I addressed one of my entries to our girls. And the girls that are in our lives. I decided to turn the tables. You may not know this, but I have a lot of boys in my life as well. Boys that I am blessed to be called mom by. As I sat with one of them today, I realized that he is just as vulnerable as the girls. That made my heart hurt. So here it is...my "Dear John" letter.
Dear Boys,
You are worthy. I sit and I watch you guys interact with our girls and my heart expands. You are young men of character and inner strength. My heart aches at the thought that you may not know you're valuable.
I know the world tells you to hide your emotions, do what feels good and go about your merry way. I am so proud that you have never followed that motto. I am in no way saying you guys are perfect....we all know you're not. (yellow light, anyone?) But you are worthy. You are valuable. Don't worry about what the guy next to you is doing. Pray for him instead. I have known some of you since you were young teens and some are newer to my "mom" club. Some of you have had crushes on our girls, some now have crushes on our girls. I've watched you grow.
My mommy heart gets so full. I am so proud of each of you. No matter what, YOU ARE VALUABLE. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise...not that boy (or group of kids at school), your friends, your 'not' friends....even your (actual) parents. The enemy will tell you that you are not worthy...that you have no value. Don't listen....his job is to steal, kill and destroy.
The world would have you believe that girls are playthings; please remember they are someone's wife. If not yours, someone else's. Respect her....she is someone's daughter and valued. The world would have you think that you shouldn't cry. Cry away boys; it shows you're human. Be human....grow and flourish.
I may not like every decision you make, every life choice or path you choose to follow. But I will always love you. I will always pray for you, I will always look out for your best interest. I will always be your cheerleader.
I need you to KNOW how wonderful you are. God designed you with a purpose and a plan. There is nothing He does not know....He created YOU! He loves you. You are irreplaceable. Not only in the world, but in my life as well.
Boys, you know who you are. Not all of you call me mom, but there is not one I cherish more than another. Every moment is amazing for me. Thank you for allowing me the honor of being in your lives....I have never asked why I didn't have boys, didn't really care. However, now, I believe it was because He knew I would be 'mom' to many. What a blessing you are.
Never forget you are amazing.
Love,
Momma L
Dear Boys,
You are worthy. I sit and I watch you guys interact with our girls and my heart expands. You are young men of character and inner strength. My heart aches at the thought that you may not know you're valuable.
I know the world tells you to hide your emotions, do what feels good and go about your merry way. I am so proud that you have never followed that motto. I am in no way saying you guys are perfect....we all know you're not. (yellow light, anyone?) But you are worthy. You are valuable. Don't worry about what the guy next to you is doing. Pray for him instead. I have known some of you since you were young teens and some are newer to my "mom" club. Some of you have had crushes on our girls, some now have crushes on our girls. I've watched you grow.
My mommy heart gets so full. I am so proud of each of you. No matter what, YOU ARE VALUABLE. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise...not that boy (or group of kids at school), your friends, your 'not' friends....even your (actual) parents. The enemy will tell you that you are not worthy...that you have no value. Don't listen....his job is to steal, kill and destroy.
The world would have you believe that girls are playthings; please remember they are someone's wife. If not yours, someone else's. Respect her....she is someone's daughter and valued. The world would have you think that you shouldn't cry. Cry away boys; it shows you're human. Be human....grow and flourish.
I may not like every decision you make, every life choice or path you choose to follow. But I will always love you. I will always pray for you, I will always look out for your best interest. I will always be your cheerleader.
I need you to KNOW how wonderful you are. God designed you with a purpose and a plan. There is nothing He does not know....He created YOU! He loves you. You are irreplaceable. Not only in the world, but in my life as well.
Boys, you know who you are. Not all of you call me mom, but there is not one I cherish more than another. Every moment is amazing for me. Thank you for allowing me the honor of being in your lives....I have never asked why I didn't have boys, didn't really care. However, now, I believe it was because He knew I would be 'mom' to many. What a blessing you are.
Never forget you are amazing.
Love,
Momma L
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