What's Your Deal?

Here's mine. I am beloved. I am His. I am a sinner. I used to wear a giant red letter A. I am a mom of SIX daughters. Yes, I have no boys. What would I do with them??? I have been divorced twice, married thrice. (fun word, right??) I am loud, brash, intuitive, bossy (which equals good leadership skills), creative and a Disney lover. I lose it with my kids, tell my daughter how to be a mother and don't exactly love my son in law right. I'm protective, cranky, silly and just when you think you've got me figured out, I throw a curve ball at you. I like things other people overlook, I think art is just that and don't worry about the little things.

I was listening to my "Worship" playlist this morning while I did my Ruth bible study. In the bible, way after Ruth and Naomi have traveled to Naomi's home land and Ruth has forsaken everything, Ruth is referred to as the Moabitess. Well, we all know that's who she is/was. We all know the facts. So why? Well, the author then reminds us about Ruth's soon to be mother in law. Rahab. The harlot. Prostitute. That's how she's remembered in the bible. BUT it's not because they want you to reflect upon her sin. It's because they want you to reflect on her redemption. Rahab is directly related to Jesus. Rahab the harlot is DIRECTLY related to the Lamb of God, God's Son....Savior of the entire world. Take a moment to think on that.

Here's my deal: I sometimes feel like I should conform. Wear the latest "in" style, do my hair like everyone else and take up knitting. I should NEVER tell anyone my story, always sugar coat and pretend like the world is full of lollipops and rainbows. Even when it's stormy out and the lollipops melt in the rain. I sometimes feel as though I'm not good enough for other people. I mean, sometimes it seems like no one else ever sins. They always smile and are so shiny. I think underneath it all, they aren't so shiny. Anyways, when I get stuck feeling like this, God whaps me upside the head with Rahab the harlot. I wasn't a harlot, but some would construe me as such. But God reminds me that Rahab the harlot is His beloved, so much so that she is Jesus' grandmother WAY back down the line. The Redeemers grandmother! Seriously!

So where does that leave me? Sinning, scarlet letter A, pregnant at each of my weddings me? Well, it leaves me washed, white as snow, pure before my Lord. It leaves me beloved, His, held by His hands and forgiven. It leaves me 'Unleft'....not alone, not forgotten. Rahab the harlot believed. Ruth left her homeland and followed her mother in law and believed. Both women were redeemed, spiritually and physically. And years later, in these womens' lineage, a baby was born. A baby that was destined to die....to save the world. What a testament! What a joy! What grace! What a mighty God!

So, What's Your Deal? What do you hide? What part of yourself do you think no one would love you because of? Let it go, dear one. He sees you and loves you. He is so for you and when you're done trying to make your own stubborn way, He is waiting. (I know this for a FACT!) As the author of my study says, I'm a former 'bad girl'. Maybe I'll be known in His book as Erin, the wearer of the scarlet letter. Because, that is not me. It's who I was, but not who I am. My redemption is complete. And if that IS how I'm known, it's a testament to Him, to His grace and love. He brought me out of the pit.

The Big Deal: Him. No matter who you are, or who you have been, He can and will redeem you. Yell at Him, cry to Him, sing to Him....He doesn't care, He just wants YOU.

I am His big deal. He rejoices over me, loves me and provides. He is my kinsman redeemer.

3 things:
If I ever take up knitting, remind me I don't like it.
Can I make lollipop soup out of melted lollis?
AND....Why isn't the world full of rainbow slides?
Good day, friends. Enjoy it!

In a Nutshell

Children should come with instruction manuals. They should have one for every stage. A teen manual would be wonderful. Even one that just said: "Your child is normal, other people have gone through this!". I would appreciate that. A lot! What would be better is a manual on adult children.

For some reason, depending on the experience, our adult children seem to think that now is a good time to tell us all the things we did wrong. Like: not letting one child get a tattoo when she was 16, also making that same child pay for her own cell phone service (she had a job) and not getting the other girl drivers training. And seriously!...what is up with that one girl making those choices??!!

In a nutshell, children, we aren't perfect. I know that I often exude the mirage of perfection by the way my hair is perfectly coiffed, the way I am always dressed to the nines and the way every word I say is laden with knowledge and worldliness. Uh huh....that's me. However, besides all that lovely perfection (NOT), we do the best we can. We are, after all, only human.

Each girl has crawled into a nutshell. Sometimes they camp there, holding on to the tattoo that never happened or dating a new boy every month. Sometimes they hide there, pretending it's a bubble. Sometimes, it's a good nutshell. A growth shell, if you will. Sometimes, in their nutshell, they cry over most things. And I just want to shout "There's no crying in baseball!". Even though we're not playing baseball.

I don't remember when I crawled out of my nutshell, don't know when life started clicking for me differently. As I was growing up, I had bits and pieces of sanity then I would choose to crawl back into my own nutshell. I often chose the wrong way. And there are things that I look back on and see where my parents should've taken responsibility. They make much better parents as grandparents. I also see where I hold on to things (just like tattoo girl) that I should let go. Because, GASP, my parents weren't/aren't perfect either!

So here it is, the big "IN A NUTSHELL": It's all about grace. Grace you give your children when they back talk, grace they give you when you become "Mom/Dad-zilla". Grace to your partner in crime, the one you choose to love daily. Grace they give you when you get mad over nothing and make them sleep on the couch. Grace you give that person who drives crazy in front of you. Mostly, it's about Grace. The grace that God gives. The undeserved favor that He bestows so willingly, so lovingly. And all we have to do is accept Him. I can NOT do enough to gain it. In fact, there is NOTHING I can do. It's a gift. Free and clear.

I no longer live in a nutshell....a nut house, yes, but not a shell! Reach out, grab Him, my friend. He waits for you.