Well, it's been a few weeks! During that time I flew across the U.S., saw some old friends, had LOTS of inner healing and brought a surly adult home with me. It's been lots of fun! NOT! It's interesting to me that my relationships with my children change. I'm not talking about the teen years (that's when the aliens have come), I'm talking about the relationship with the young adult in my life. We moms tend to just plug along, teaching...praying, worrying...loving. Then one day....BAM....you run into a wall in the form of someone who the law says is an adult. And oh...they can do it all!! She had her first life lesson. It was relatively harmless, but did cause some heartache. At her age, my life lesson was much harder. Married, a young mother and abused physically. I am so super grateful hers was not even similar.
But that little taste of life outside our family bubble created a longing to stay outside the bubble. Yet, part of her wants to crawl back in, snuggle up and slam the door on being an "adult". She would never admit it, but it IS true!! I find myself wavering between frustration and wanting to grab her in my arms and hold her until she bursts. There are so many things I feel we didn't prepare her for....yet how will she learn? Our dynamics changed while she was gone...life went along. Even though I thought it might stop briefly, I was surprised it kept going. And I adapted. It's like a puzzle...all the pieces fit, they all go together and everything is fine. Then you lose one piece....and when you find it, it's just not the same.
You always think you will never actually get to that point. You wonder and dream...Is there really going to be a time when your children grow up, move away and are members of society?? I always thought it was far away....something truly unattainable. But, here I am...smack dab in the middle of change. She will ALWAYS be a part of our puzzle, a treasured member of the family and I will love her every day, all the time, all her life and mine. (I say that to them OFTEN...it's my thing) But, she has to start her own puzzle. She has to figure out how the pieces fit. I know it will be hard for me to keep my mouth shut.....not tell her how to do things or what to do different. I'm her mom and that won't change, BUT I now have to stop "parenting" and start befriending. It's just hard...i love all my puzzle pieces.....bubble wrap and Amish aren't such a bad idea after all. But really, God already sees her completed puzzle, and He knows her inside and out and He has mega plans. I just have to stop being in the way.
Side note: Romeo left the school again....this time for good. Pray for our Juliet to focus now, on God and her own growth.....
