Lemons and Life

"If life gives you lemons, make lemonade!" Huh. Really? I want to live in that world. The one where you just make lemonade and move on. I wish my glasses were rose colored and I lived in "Perfectville". I wish I had enough sugar to make lemonade. I wish I wasn't feeling so sour about now.
We just found out that Matt has been demoted. Not really because of a job he didn't do right, but because of the way numbers work out in the system. I know....God is in control. Yet, with this demotion comes a decrease in pay. I don't see it. I don't see how we will be able to get the girls the clothes they need, how we will pay our bills and how we will survive. I KNOW, I KNOW! God is in control. My heart knows this, but head can't wrap itself around it. I know He knows the girls' needs. I know He sees us all the time. I know He doesn't sleep. But it doesn't "feel" like He's aware. I feel so.....lost.
I feel upside down and backwards. It's funny. My bible study this morning was about trusting God in the "non" miracle times. To know that He's behind the scenes, working things out on our behalf. To remember He loves us all the time, not just in "Major Miracle" times. We've seen our share of those, too. Right now, it just seems like we're stalled. I feel forgotten.
Yet, I am reminded by a friends pray and offer of love that we are not forgotten. And our dog isn't either. I had forgotten that he was going to need care in these lean times, but God didn't. He provided a way for him to be fed. God saw Murphy. He sees my sorrow and the "rending" of my heart. He sees and bottles my tears and knows my husbands sadness. I'm sure He knows that Matty feels like somehow he failed....like he isn't the perfect hunter/gatherer. I don't feel that way. To me, Matty is a great man, a solid provider and a man who loves God. And I love him.
Regardless of my head feelings, my heart knows that God has this. There isn't one thing that has ever happened in my life that He isn't aware of. Some, I daresay, have even been orchestrated by Him. (some I chose and He blessed me through) I know we will come through this....stronger and more co-hesive perhaps. But no matter what, it is all designed by God. And as the inheritor of His kingdom and the love of His life I know He will watch over, protect and get us through. I just have to grasp it, hold tighter and fall backwards.


Lemonade is sweet, sticky and a smidge sour.....a lot like life.