I remember

I remember:
My mom taking me to see a "What happens when you smoke" video.....and she was a smoker.
The elephant puzzle my dad bought me once...when life was difficult.
Getting lice from a boy
A deer (dead) on our table, stripped of it's coat.
Yellow cabinets and swingy doors to our living room.
NOT having a phone until I was 13.....and then it was a PARTY LINE!
Food fights in the house
Being yelled at....
My dad not talking to me for a week (I called him a pig)
My dad crying as he walked me down the aisle when I was 17
My mom really being mad at me for....well, we won't chat about that.
I remember much more than that. Things best left unwritten, secrets stuck in a private vault....known only by those that experienced them.
Isn't that what makes a family? Experience and things remembered? And so I wonder, what will our children remember?
Will they remember when I yelled at them for not cleaning their rooms? Or the time I cut, with acissors, a shirt off one of the girls because she complained about it being a name brand? (She was wearing an undershirt) Or will they remember the time we had a water fight in the house? Perhaps they will remember when we danced in the rain (every chance we get) or the time I flung corn at Matty. (the little spoon looked like a perfect catapult...it was!) Will they remember mini vacations, make up lessons, walks with the dog and watching "Rear Window"? Will they remember all the meals I made and the times Matty took them out for ice cream?
What sticks in someone's mind? What gets hidden away and what gets shared? Sometimes people think that relationship is shared experience. It's not. Relationship is deeper, heart felt and strong. Relationship is scary, beautiful and sometimes heartbreaking. It's not always good....sometimes it's sorrowful. As parents, as children, as lovers, as friends....relationship takes many forms. Each one is different and each one is a choice. It isn't always easy to "love" the children. They make choices and decisions that we don't agree with, decide to test out their wing strength. It's hard to watch....and sometimes hard to support. As a wife, I choose to love my husband. Every day! Some days I choose to not support him, choose to be selfish, choose to be "childish". I'm not proud of it, but it's truth. But I do love him....every day. As a friend, there are some friendships I just let go. Not worth the effort I think it takes. Again, not a proud moment...but honest.
I remember:
Staying up all night with a feverish or icky sick child
watching Disney movies until I thought I would get cavities from all the sweetness
Going to Disneyland with my loved ones
Reading "Peter and the Starcatchers"
Endless trips to the library, zoo and discovery center
tights with holes, plaid skirts and "elevated" hair
heartbreak
Watching the "little bit" go to first grade
And so much more.....
.......and so much more......
....and even more.
I know there is more to come, more to hide away. More to laugh at, more to love with and more to pray is unwritten. More to hope they forget, more to pray they remember.


I remember meeting a man....who loved me even though I came with 4 children and who loved those children.....