Winning vs Losing

I had a friend once. Don't die, it's true! Actually, there was a group of us. 3 couples. This was before divorce #2. We got together every weekend. Our kids got along. Us gals would sit and chat and laugh. The guys would do guy things. We'd play cards every week. We were inseperable. Until....I decided to wear scarlet. Then it all fell apart. Those friends high tailed it quicker than an ice cube melts on a hot summer sidewalk. It became me against them and him. Because I was the bad one. The temptress, the one dredged in sin. As the attitudes changed, my walls built up. I felt like I'd been flung into the ocean and left to die. I cried for help, but was told I was such a horrible sinner and "Are you sure you're a christian?" was asked often. I knew I was. Knew He loved me, knew He was watching and crying over my choices. And I knew Jesus was praying. But without earthly support, I ran headlong into that pit. I lost.
With Matt, everything settled down. We had Savannah and then Harley. But sometime in between the 2 girls, I saw the Mrs. of one of the couples. She had been my best friend. She ignored me. Called me the next day. Apologized with a "but....". But what??! She told me I should be sorry I'd had Savannah, that she never should have been born. Wow....I realized that with some, it was a neverending circle. No matter what I did, it would never resolve in her eyes. I would always have that letter "A". But, I hadn't lost. At that point I had won. I was forgiven, freed and had tangible proof of God's grace in the form of a child named Savannah....and the bonus was coming up.
2 Years ago, the other Mrs. from the other couple walked into my life. She had cast me out too, not spoken to me in 8 years. When I saw her, at church of all places, my heart went out to her. I hugged her. And we cried. And she asked my forgiveness. She was divorcing her husband....and hindsight had kicked in. Didn't mean she agreed with my choices that I had made, but she no longer saw me in scarlet. Which is good, cause God took that away eons ago. :D Our friendship was restored. She told me the other Mrs. had made a decision to love her no matter what, that her divorce wasn't going to seperate them. Turns out, the other Mrs. didn't want to lose another friend.
I don't blame her. I like my friends too. I have purposed in my heart to forgive her. I have asked her forgiveness, don't know if it's been given. But that is between her and God. The enemy would use that "A" to hit me upside the head, and bring to mind the words she used. I am as of right now, banishing those words. They have no place in my mind, no place in my life. I have been very honest with you, friends. And you still talk to me. So I am reminded that I am loved, and His beloved. Thanks friends, for knowing it all, and loving me anyway.


btw: The restored Mrs. is now remarried....and we still chat....And I have won.