It's been 3 months since I've sat down to write. We've had a busy summer...a crazy summer. A college graduate, married girl home while husband deployed, PLAN and PULL OFF a wedding summer. It's been, in short, CRAZY.
It's been nice, having all (except 1) girls under our roof this summer. They've slipped right back into the hierarchy that is sisters....right back into middle school. S said the other day that we had a system and it's been thrown into chaos. It's been joyful, scattered and full of surprises....and full of change!
C got married. It was a beautiful wedding on a beautiful July day. I had prayed for good weather....God is so awesome to have provided! After and emotional first day, her and her husband are settling into married life and adulting very well. (they might not agree)
K is doing well. Her heart wishes to be with her husband; that time is approaching! She really wishes all her people could be together in one place, preferably Europe. S wishes that, too, for purely selfish reasons. I mean...have you seen the fashion??
E recently got a job at St.Lukes as a patient specialist. She's had a rocky beginning...really praying that God show His plan to her and that she'll follow! In the meantime, she lives in the "trailer" outside our garage. To me, that is PRICELESS! I'm glad we have even that small space for her to call her own!
S is homeschooling this year. That is a major selling point in her quest to visit her sister in Europe. She can do school anywhere! She continues to be my advocate in sister tiffs and continues to be "snassy"....a mixture of snarky and sassy.
Our grands are doing well. Miss Reyasunshine is very sweet, here sister is very sassy. They are complete opposites and keep Hillary moving! J is working consistently. Hillary always amazes me in the way she is a mother and we are so proud of both her and J.
Little Bit goes to 8th grade after her 14th birthday! I can't believe we're done having 13 year olds. For all you mommas who struggle to believe the reality of children growing up, IT DOES HAPPEN! I think I'm an odd momma duck though....I celebrated when my littlest went to kindergarten. And I'm celebrating now....truth is, Matty and I are the family. The kiddos will come and go, but WE remain with each other. Anyways...H is still drawing and we are truly praying that God gives wisdom in how to pursue that.
Matty is still at the hospital. I am not working this year. The dogs are still alive and our household has grown by one rabbit and decreased by one hedgehog. (Bella lives with the honeymooners)God continues to work in our lives. I am so very thankful to Him for His continued grace. I am thankful for the way He has restored my marriage....it's not perfect and it never will be. With God, however, all things are possible.
The biggest changes in our world are good ones. A daughter visiting, a daughter married, a daughter beginning her adult life. Doesn't mean they're not painful. There are growing pains all around. We feel them, we see them. Our household has been shaken, the puzzle is shifting. Eventually we'll settle again, life will move smoothly and a routine will be followed.
God is consistent. His love is all encompassing, His grace new every day. His mercy abounds and His creation speaks of His joy. I am awed.
Find Him, today. He is everywhere, in all things. He never changes and for that I am grateful.
Until next time, friends.
Monday, August 22, 2016
Sunday, May 22, 2016
Lonely in the Crowd
This entry isn't written from a specific view point; rather from a possible "everyone" standpoint.
Slowly, I walk up the stairs. I enter with hesitancy. Will anyone say "Hi" to me today, will they notice me? Or will I slip right by as they chatter, a ghost among the crowd? Will I walk away today feeling like I'm invisible to everyone except my husband and children?
These questions plague me whenever I go where there are people. Church, school events etc. There's an unspoken rule that you don't talk about feeling lonely, that lonely may be YOUR own fault. But what if it's not? What if, instead of thinking that the lonely person should step up, WE stepped up and spoke into their lives???? What if I spoke to someone I don't really know but would like to know better. What if someone I'd always wanted to talk to asked me to coffee?! What if, instead of looking around people as we say "Hi", we look AT them?
We all belong to this really big family. There's hundreds of people in it. Yet, it's so EASY to feel alone, to feel lonely in the crowd. Sometimes, I think we think that someone else is involved....why should we get involved, then?
I try stepping outside my zone. I try stepping into others' lives. I try being a part of the family. Yet...I feel like I'm just outside it, watching all the fun from the outside. Watching as relationships get built and lifelong friendships are forged. And I'm lonely.
It's hard, this being a girl thing. I think as children our confidence is forged. It's an ever changing thing, determined by public response and encouragement or disillusionment. There are good days and bad ones. There are days I feel as though I have strong relationships. I'm not lonely, I'm not wondering what's wrong with me. I'm confident in who I am, confident in the woman God has created me to be. Then there are days where I'm trying too hard to fit. Where my self-esteem is low and I'm wondering why I'm not talked to. Where I question God as to why He created me the way He did.
It's an extreme, being lonely. When you're lonely, everything is bigger. Every invitation someone else gets, every conversation that's not yours, every time someone looks through you. I'm willing to bet everyone has felt this way...even if they won't admit it.
Here's what I have:
When you're lonely in the crowd, remember God is always there. His presence is all encompassing, His love never ending. His arms are wide enough for you, His shoulders big enough for you to cry on. Remember, He has EVERYTHING written. From your birth to your death, He's got this. Every relationship, every cry for friendship, every sorrow, every laugh, every plea to fit in. He sees the loneliness, sees the desire to be loved. He sees YOU. He sees ME. He never looks through me. He never ceases loving me. Never.
When it hits, remember these:
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NAS) "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
1 Samuel 12:22 (NAS) "For the LORD will not abandon His people on account of His great name, because the LORD has been pleased to make you a people for Himself.
Psalm 25:16 (NAS) Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 147:3 (NAS) He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.
And if you don't know Him, I encourage you to seek Him out. He sees you, He knows you, He loves you.
Slowly, I walk up the stairs. I enter with hesitancy. Will anyone say "Hi" to me today, will they notice me? Or will I slip right by as they chatter, a ghost among the crowd? Will I walk away today feeling like I'm invisible to everyone except my husband and children?
These questions plague me whenever I go where there are people. Church, school events etc. There's an unspoken rule that you don't talk about feeling lonely, that lonely may be YOUR own fault. But what if it's not? What if, instead of thinking that the lonely person should step up, WE stepped up and spoke into their lives???? What if I spoke to someone I don't really know but would like to know better. What if someone I'd always wanted to talk to asked me to coffee?! What if, instead of looking around people as we say "Hi", we look AT them?
We all belong to this really big family. There's hundreds of people in it. Yet, it's so EASY to feel alone, to feel lonely in the crowd. Sometimes, I think we think that someone else is involved....why should we get involved, then?
I try stepping outside my zone. I try stepping into others' lives. I try being a part of the family. Yet...I feel like I'm just outside it, watching all the fun from the outside. Watching as relationships get built and lifelong friendships are forged. And I'm lonely.
It's hard, this being a girl thing. I think as children our confidence is forged. It's an ever changing thing, determined by public response and encouragement or disillusionment. There are good days and bad ones. There are days I feel as though I have strong relationships. I'm not lonely, I'm not wondering what's wrong with me. I'm confident in who I am, confident in the woman God has created me to be. Then there are days where I'm trying too hard to fit. Where my self-esteem is low and I'm wondering why I'm not talked to. Where I question God as to why He created me the way He did.
It's an extreme, being lonely. When you're lonely, everything is bigger. Every invitation someone else gets, every conversation that's not yours, every time someone looks through you. I'm willing to bet everyone has felt this way...even if they won't admit it.
Here's what I have:
When you're lonely in the crowd, remember God is always there. His presence is all encompassing, His love never ending. His arms are wide enough for you, His shoulders big enough for you to cry on. Remember, He has EVERYTHING written. From your birth to your death, He's got this. Every relationship, every cry for friendship, every sorrow, every laugh, every plea to fit in. He sees the loneliness, sees the desire to be loved. He sees YOU. He sees ME. He never looks through me. He never ceases loving me. Never.
When it hits, remember these:
Deuteronomy 31:6 (NAS) "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the LORD your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you."
1 Samuel 12:22 (NAS) "For the LORD will not abandon His people on account of His great name, because the LORD has been pleased to make you a people for Himself.
Psalm 25:16 (NAS) Turn to me and be gracious to me, For I am lonely and afflicted.
Psalm 147:3 (NAS) He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.
And if you don't know Him, I encourage you to seek Him out. He sees you, He knows you, He loves you.
Friday, April 15, 2016
The days move on
I just realized it's been since January that I've posted. That seems surreal considering my life hasn't slowed down and is by no means perfect! But the days refuse to slow down or stop. They just move on.
Big news first: Our C is getting married! Yes, MARRIED! She's marrying the fellow she's been dating for almost 2 1/2 years. (would've been strange if it wasn't him) Our lives are a flurry of table runners, dress colors and flower choices. We are so very excited and can't wait for their adventure to unfold!
Also! Emily is graduating from U of I in May. We are making an exodus to Moscow to cheer her as she gets that piece of paper that says she truly is a grown up now.
K is home for a while as her hubby is gone. That's been hard. I hate to see her so sad. We pray continuously for His protective hand on both of them. Not just for their physical selves, but their emotional selves also.
Hill and J are doing better. He's got a better job that's almost full time. The grandgirls are good...all squishy and fabulously loving!
S is doing good, braces and all. She's kind of struggling with a teacher; that's a hard situation.
H is so very artistic! Love watching her draw!
It's amazing all the things that have happened since Jan. It's amazing at the bad that's been sprinkled in.
Through it all, I've seen His hand. He has held us, cradled us and given and taken away. He is so awesome in His mercy and grace. The world we live in is declining quickly.....it's so wonderful to know that He doesn't change and every day is written and that He is triumphant.
I have so much going on in my head; not enough time to write it all.
So I leave you with this:
The days move on. Regardless of how you feel, how you wish, how it seems to drag....the days move on. Every day is an adventure and already a victory for the Lord. There isn't one day that moves without His loving hand on it. Not one thought that goes unnoticed, one tear unbottled and one laugh He doesn't enjoy. While this world declines, take heart! Enjoy the given days, enjoy the moments that unfold. He delights in us; delight in HIM!
See you soon, friends.
Big news first: Our C is getting married! Yes, MARRIED! She's marrying the fellow she's been dating for almost 2 1/2 years. (would've been strange if it wasn't him) Our lives are a flurry of table runners, dress colors and flower choices. We are so very excited and can't wait for their adventure to unfold!
Also! Emily is graduating from U of I in May. We are making an exodus to Moscow to cheer her as she gets that piece of paper that says she truly is a grown up now.
K is home for a while as her hubby is gone. That's been hard. I hate to see her so sad. We pray continuously for His protective hand on both of them. Not just for their physical selves, but their emotional selves also.
Hill and J are doing better. He's got a better job that's almost full time. The grandgirls are good...all squishy and fabulously loving!
S is doing good, braces and all. She's kind of struggling with a teacher; that's a hard situation.
H is so very artistic! Love watching her draw!
It's amazing all the things that have happened since Jan. It's amazing at the bad that's been sprinkled in.
Through it all, I've seen His hand. He has held us, cradled us and given and taken away. He is so awesome in His mercy and grace. The world we live in is declining quickly.....it's so wonderful to know that He doesn't change and every day is written and that He is triumphant.
I have so much going on in my head; not enough time to write it all.
So I leave you with this:
The days move on. Regardless of how you feel, how you wish, how it seems to drag....the days move on. Every day is an adventure and already a victory for the Lord. There isn't one day that moves without His loving hand on it. Not one thought that goes unnoticed, one tear unbottled and one laugh He doesn't enjoy. While this world declines, take heart! Enjoy the given days, enjoy the moments that unfold. He delights in us; delight in HIM!
See you soon, friends.
Saturday, January 9, 2016
Nothings Going to Happen....
Nothing is going to happen....until it does.
You sit there, on your computer, at your job, in the coffee shop etc pondering your life. Wondering how you got where you are or how you're going to get to where you're wanting to be. You play an online game, catch the eye of a co-worker or see a guy in while you drink your coffee. Suddenly....something has happened.
You don't set out to do it...good gracious, you're a christian! You've prayed the prayers, you've sat in church and heard the sermon, you listen to the christian station on the radio. Nothing is going to happen....you're protected. Yeah. Until it happens. The enemy doesn't search out the ones who aren't God's....they're already his. He wants you...the one who IS God's, the one who belongs to the Lord most high. The enemy has joy in you falling and he finds many, many ways to help you down the hill.
Suddenly, you're sharing emotional ties with that guy online, you're talking to that female co-worker at lunch and you've met that cute guy for coffee a few times. Still, you tell yourself nothing is going to happen. Because you're not 'that way'. Then it does. And you're stuck.
Beloved, God does not want you to be fooled. He does not want you to fall. He is protecting you....but He will allow you to make choices and decisions and He will allow you to fall into those pits. He wants you to know that He is for you....you are often against yourself.
I didn't set out to wear the letter 'A'. I wasn't that way, either. A little flirtation, a little meeting and BOOM... After it happened, I made choices that led me into a deep, very deep, pit. I, where some aren't so sure, KNEW I was in a pit. I chose it.
I was redeemed. Only by Him. My life since hasn't been peaches and cream, but OH, I've come so far. We try to encourage our girls to stay away from things that may snare them, things that may catch them and trip them up. I've realized that Godly counsel from a parent comes across as parental counsel....no matter how it's phrased. We encourage our girls to search out other counsel...maybe we're off on some things and if so, we want them to get honest and Godly counsel!
The hardest part: Knowing what's real and what isn't. When you're talking to that online guy, that female co-worker, that cute coffee guy....the words are honey, the emotions rampant and the heart is deceitful. If you have an "other", chances are they're hurting over changed behavior and struggling to understand.
When we start to defend our "Nothing is going to happen...." you can bet the enemy is listening. You can bet he's already plotting and enjoying the strife it's causing. You can bet he's gleeful over the relationship tension and the brokeness that may follow. He's wily and crafty and has domain over this earth. He's going to try and make as many fall as he can while he's around. Guard yourself by being honest: Recognize you are NOT IMPERVIOUS. You are NOT immune to the enemy. Be honest before the Lord; He will take your burden and carry you through. There is nothing He is unaware of.
I leave you with this:
"A faithful witness will not lie, But a false witness speaks lies. A scoffer seeks wisdom, and find none, But knowledge is easy to him who has understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit. Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will. The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy." Proverbs 14:5-10
Don't allow the enemy to sneak in. He is the author of lies, the prince of angst.
Nothing is going to happen...Until it does.
You sit there, on your computer, at your job, in the coffee shop etc pondering your life. Wondering how you got where you are or how you're going to get to where you're wanting to be. You play an online game, catch the eye of a co-worker or see a guy in while you drink your coffee. Suddenly....something has happened.
You don't set out to do it...good gracious, you're a christian! You've prayed the prayers, you've sat in church and heard the sermon, you listen to the christian station on the radio. Nothing is going to happen....you're protected. Yeah. Until it happens. The enemy doesn't search out the ones who aren't God's....they're already his. He wants you...the one who IS God's, the one who belongs to the Lord most high. The enemy has joy in you falling and he finds many, many ways to help you down the hill.
Suddenly, you're sharing emotional ties with that guy online, you're talking to that female co-worker at lunch and you've met that cute guy for coffee a few times. Still, you tell yourself nothing is going to happen. Because you're not 'that way'. Then it does. And you're stuck.
Beloved, God does not want you to be fooled. He does not want you to fall. He is protecting you....but He will allow you to make choices and decisions and He will allow you to fall into those pits. He wants you to know that He is for you....you are often against yourself.
I didn't set out to wear the letter 'A'. I wasn't that way, either. A little flirtation, a little meeting and BOOM... After it happened, I made choices that led me into a deep, very deep, pit. I, where some aren't so sure, KNEW I was in a pit. I chose it.
I was redeemed. Only by Him. My life since hasn't been peaches and cream, but OH, I've come so far. We try to encourage our girls to stay away from things that may snare them, things that may catch them and trip them up. I've realized that Godly counsel from a parent comes across as parental counsel....no matter how it's phrased. We encourage our girls to search out other counsel...maybe we're off on some things and if so, we want them to get honest and Godly counsel!
The hardest part: Knowing what's real and what isn't. When you're talking to that online guy, that female co-worker, that cute coffee guy....the words are honey, the emotions rampant and the heart is deceitful. If you have an "other", chances are they're hurting over changed behavior and struggling to understand.
When we start to defend our "Nothing is going to happen...." you can bet the enemy is listening. You can bet he's already plotting and enjoying the strife it's causing. You can bet he's gleeful over the relationship tension and the brokeness that may follow. He's wily and crafty and has domain over this earth. He's going to try and make as many fall as he can while he's around. Guard yourself by being honest: Recognize you are NOT IMPERVIOUS. You are NOT immune to the enemy. Be honest before the Lord; He will take your burden and carry you through. There is nothing He is unaware of.
I leave you with this:
"A faithful witness will not lie, But a false witness speaks lies. A scoffer seeks wisdom, and find none, But knowledge is easy to him who has understanding. Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, But the folly of fools is deceit. Fools mock at sin, But among the upright there is good will. The heart knows its own bitterness, And a stranger does not share its joy." Proverbs 14:5-10
Don't allow the enemy to sneak in. He is the author of lies, the prince of angst.
Nothing is going to happen...Until it does.
Friday, December 18, 2015
We Wish You a Merry Christmas
We wish you a Merry Christmas!
Our year was full of so many things. Here are the highlights:
Emily began her senior year of college...come May we will have our very first college graduate. She also scrambled to find her focus. Great thing is...God is in the business of unscrambling and focusing! She got her very first pet...a blind, old cat she calls Ro-Ro.
Hillary and Jeremy are raising our sweet grandgirls. Piper had her very important 1st birthday and our sweet Reyasunshine turned 3. Their family started going to a wonderful church where they've plugged in and feel very loved! Jeremy continues to work 3 part time jobs to support them and Hillary's health issues continue to plague her. God is so great to give provision! We've seen some wonderful provision for their family! They have a kitty named Zoey who causes the girls much delight!
Chellsei began her junior year at BSU. She loves sign language and history...don't start a conversation about WWII if you don't want to go on for a bit! She began helping in the youth group at church this summer and continues to drum occasionally. She went on a weekend mission trip to Grandview, WA with our church over the summer; enjoyed seeing the people she served with in years prior. Her and her boyfriend celebrated their 2 year anniversary. Wonder what's next! God is so good to unfold adventures before our very eyes! Just a week ago, she flew off to Germany to see....
Kaily and Tim. His job took them overseas to Germany. They live in a small village and are enjoying it immensely. The possibility of deployment always looms; they're preparing themselves for that. On a journey to a small zoo in France, they saw some very wild....raccoons. We had quite the giggle over that. We skype often. The girls are enjoying their sister time until January when C flies home. They've kept us quite entertained with finding just the right beer stein for their dad and grandpa. T & K had to leave their dogs and hedgehog behind...there were tears shed! (We've found homes for dogs, hedgehog lives in C's room now. Our pet count is now 2 dogs, 1 rat and a hedgie. Soon, a Ro-Ro. :/)
Savannah is attending Sage International School. She is doing well and has friends! I know because I ask her every day. She recently (Tuesday)joined the braces gang. Didn't think she could get any cuter...I was wrong. She enjoyed her first mission trip; Grandview Wa for a week with our church! She LOVED it! After that, she went away to camp for 3 weeks this summer...2 as servant staff and one as a camper. She developed relationships and is looking forward to heading back next year! They've asked her to serve for the summer. She has switched her focus from becoming a vet to working with children. Also, she got to see her favorite band in concert and, after having an allergic reaction, got to meet Sadie Robertson! What joy! Can't wait to see what story God has written for her!
Harley is in 7th grade at The Village Charter Middle School. She has a heart for those around her and I love getting to see her sweet nature exposed. She was just in a play at school and let me tell you...she was AMAZING! One of the only kids without a script in her hand and she definitely has a flair for the dramatic! Her timing was great and she knocked the socks off the audience. She continues to show her artistic talent and we continue to be blown away. Really praying that God show us how to tap into supporting that and getting her where she needs to be to develop the talents He's given her.
Matt and I are doing well. We had a bit of a rough start this year. We've made new friends, rekindled with old ones and have continued to grow and heal as a couple. We joined a small group at church...it's great to hear perspective from people who have recovered from where we are or to share where we've been to others who may be heading there. I began working at H's school 3 hours a day. It's a great little part time job....God has reminded me that He had me where He wanted me for a reason. So, we'll see. Right now, that is our "Savannah braces account". Matt continues to work at the hospital. He loves working with the people and loves talking with those who ask about his AGAPE tattoo...who knew that could be a mission field??! His new goal is to get his GED sooner rather than later and move forward in the medical field. He also went to Grandview for a weekend...he loved building and helping around the church. He also loved the relationship building with others from our church! In August, we went and grabbed those Pryde's from NM. It was a wonderful time for just the 4 of us to have an adventure!
All in all....we're alive. We're all breathing and we're all growing. It wasn't a perfect year, wasn't a quiet one. We had lots of adventures this year, lots of tears, lots of laughter.
And I wouldn't change it.
God is so good, so amazing to love me. He is truly the reason for the season.
So...Merry Christmas, friends. May your new year unfold with joy and His hand unfolding your adventure.
Remember the baby born to die...so you could live with Him.
Our year was full of so many things. Here are the highlights:
Emily began her senior year of college...come May we will have our very first college graduate. She also scrambled to find her focus. Great thing is...God is in the business of unscrambling and focusing! She got her very first pet...a blind, old cat she calls Ro-Ro.
Hillary and Jeremy are raising our sweet grandgirls. Piper had her very important 1st birthday and our sweet Reyasunshine turned 3. Their family started going to a wonderful church where they've plugged in and feel very loved! Jeremy continues to work 3 part time jobs to support them and Hillary's health issues continue to plague her. God is so great to give provision! We've seen some wonderful provision for their family! They have a kitty named Zoey who causes the girls much delight!
Chellsei began her junior year at BSU. She loves sign language and history...don't start a conversation about WWII if you don't want to go on for a bit! She began helping in the youth group at church this summer and continues to drum occasionally. She went on a weekend mission trip to Grandview, WA with our church over the summer; enjoyed seeing the people she served with in years prior. Her and her boyfriend celebrated their 2 year anniversary. Wonder what's next! God is so good to unfold adventures before our very eyes! Just a week ago, she flew off to Germany to see....
Kaily and Tim. His job took them overseas to Germany. They live in a small village and are enjoying it immensely. The possibility of deployment always looms; they're preparing themselves for that. On a journey to a small zoo in France, they saw some very wild....raccoons. We had quite the giggle over that. We skype often. The girls are enjoying their sister time until January when C flies home. They've kept us quite entertained with finding just the right beer stein for their dad and grandpa. T & K had to leave their dogs and hedgehog behind...there were tears shed! (We've found homes for dogs, hedgehog lives in C's room now. Our pet count is now 2 dogs, 1 rat and a hedgie. Soon, a Ro-Ro. :/)
Savannah is attending Sage International School. She is doing well and has friends! I know because I ask her every day. She recently (Tuesday)joined the braces gang. Didn't think she could get any cuter...I was wrong. She enjoyed her first mission trip; Grandview Wa for a week with our church! She LOVED it! After that, she went away to camp for 3 weeks this summer...2 as servant staff and one as a camper. She developed relationships and is looking forward to heading back next year! They've asked her to serve for the summer. She has switched her focus from becoming a vet to working with children. Also, she got to see her favorite band in concert and, after having an allergic reaction, got to meet Sadie Robertson! What joy! Can't wait to see what story God has written for her!
Harley is in 7th grade at The Village Charter Middle School. She has a heart for those around her and I love getting to see her sweet nature exposed. She was just in a play at school and let me tell you...she was AMAZING! One of the only kids without a script in her hand and she definitely has a flair for the dramatic! Her timing was great and she knocked the socks off the audience. She continues to show her artistic talent and we continue to be blown away. Really praying that God show us how to tap into supporting that and getting her where she needs to be to develop the talents He's given her.
Matt and I are doing well. We had a bit of a rough start this year. We've made new friends, rekindled with old ones and have continued to grow and heal as a couple. We joined a small group at church...it's great to hear perspective from people who have recovered from where we are or to share where we've been to others who may be heading there. I began working at H's school 3 hours a day. It's a great little part time job....God has reminded me that He had me where He wanted me for a reason. So, we'll see. Right now, that is our "Savannah braces account". Matt continues to work at the hospital. He loves working with the people and loves talking with those who ask about his AGAPE tattoo...who knew that could be a mission field??! His new goal is to get his GED sooner rather than later and move forward in the medical field. He also went to Grandview for a weekend...he loved building and helping around the church. He also loved the relationship building with others from our church! In August, we went and grabbed those Pryde's from NM. It was a wonderful time for just the 4 of us to have an adventure!
All in all....we're alive. We're all breathing and we're all growing. It wasn't a perfect year, wasn't a quiet one. We had lots of adventures this year, lots of tears, lots of laughter.
And I wouldn't change it.
God is so good, so amazing to love me. He is truly the reason for the season.
So...Merry Christmas, friends. May your new year unfold with joy and His hand unfolding your adventure.
Remember the baby born to die...so you could live with Him.
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Thankfulness
It's been a while. Not for lack of trying or inspiration; simply because the words wouldn't flow. But here I am. My annual Thankful blog.
If you had asked me at the beginning of this year if I would have anything to be thankful for, I would've probably said my kids and that's it. Good thing that God is truly great! My list is certainly bigger than 6 girls.
Here it is, my Thankful list.
-God. Without Him, I never would've survived the year(s) I've had. They've been hard, fraught with worry and despair. I. Have. Survived. And will continue to do so with His strength.
-Matt. I am thankful for him....thankful for his patience as we still figure out this married thing. (yes, it's been 15 years....still figuring it out) Thankful we can have fun while we do!
-Girls. 6...8 including grandgirls! These wonderful girls! So blessed to be able to watch their lives unfold; sometimes with joy, sometimes with sorrow...always with God's hand. Those sweet little grandgirls of ours are amazing...looking forward to more someday!
-Skype! Without it, we'd never talk to our sweet girl in Germany!
-Sons-in-law. One is a good father to those sweet little ones, the other is a co-adventurer with our far away girl. So thankful they are striving to be the men God created them to be.
-Rides home from college. Without those, we'd never see our U of I girl! She graduates this year...so proud of the woman she is becoming.
-Family. (including friends) You know this has been a hard road this past year (or 2) and without you guys praying....well, things would've been different. Thank you...you mean so much to me.
-Church Family. A body of believers who believe in us!
-Church Camp. Where S got to grow!
-Murphy and Whisper. And Jake...who now lives with my parents. Our lives would be boring without our fur babies.
-A borrowed vehicle. Whew! That was a wonderful blessing for our sweet C.
-Breath. Every day new.
There is so much more to find joy in, to be thankful for. I am so thankful that God is in the "business" of bringing hope to the hopeless. So thankful that His love for me doesn't change. That He is always writing my story even when I'm trying to break out of the margins. I'm so thankful for all the small moments that trumped the really bad icky big moments. So thankful that even in my absolute sorrow, He saw me and held me.
It's so important to know that wherever you are, someone else has been. Our lives are not always the shiny faces we put on. I encourage you to reach out. Someone else may have gone through the same thing, felt the same thing or knows exactly how you feel. Plus, the King of Kings is always available. His desire is for you to know Him; to be His. His love doesn't fail, there aren't stipulations to Him loving you.
I am so thankful for that love. That unending love and the gift of grace.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends. May you day be blessed, your table be full and your joy overflowing.
If you had asked me at the beginning of this year if I would have anything to be thankful for, I would've probably said my kids and that's it. Good thing that God is truly great! My list is certainly bigger than 6 girls.
Here it is, my Thankful list.
-God. Without Him, I never would've survived the year(s) I've had. They've been hard, fraught with worry and despair. I. Have. Survived. And will continue to do so with His strength.
-Matt. I am thankful for him....thankful for his patience as we still figure out this married thing. (yes, it's been 15 years....still figuring it out) Thankful we can have fun while we do!
-Girls. 6...8 including grandgirls! These wonderful girls! So blessed to be able to watch their lives unfold; sometimes with joy, sometimes with sorrow...always with God's hand. Those sweet little grandgirls of ours are amazing...looking forward to more someday!
-Skype! Without it, we'd never talk to our sweet girl in Germany!
-Sons-in-law. One is a good father to those sweet little ones, the other is a co-adventurer with our far away girl. So thankful they are striving to be the men God created them to be.
-Rides home from college. Without those, we'd never see our U of I girl! She graduates this year...so proud of the woman she is becoming.
-Family. (including friends) You know this has been a hard road this past year (or 2) and without you guys praying....well, things would've been different. Thank you...you mean so much to me.
-Church Family. A body of believers who believe in us!
-Church Camp. Where S got to grow!
-Murphy and Whisper. And Jake...who now lives with my parents. Our lives would be boring without our fur babies.
-A borrowed vehicle. Whew! That was a wonderful blessing for our sweet C.
-Breath. Every day new.
There is so much more to find joy in, to be thankful for. I am so thankful that God is in the "business" of bringing hope to the hopeless. So thankful that His love for me doesn't change. That He is always writing my story even when I'm trying to break out of the margins. I'm so thankful for all the small moments that trumped the really bad icky big moments. So thankful that even in my absolute sorrow, He saw me and held me.
It's so important to know that wherever you are, someone else has been. Our lives are not always the shiny faces we put on. I encourage you to reach out. Someone else may have gone through the same thing, felt the same thing or knows exactly how you feel. Plus, the King of Kings is always available. His desire is for you to know Him; to be His. His love doesn't fail, there aren't stipulations to Him loving you.
I am so thankful for that love. That unending love and the gift of grace.
Happy Thanksgiving, friends. May you day be blessed, your table be full and your joy overflowing.
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Just One More...
...kiss
....moment
.....day
......hug
............
The day is almost here. Tomorrow, our tall girl has her birthday. We are so joyful that we get to spend it with her; it's all tinged in "blue". The minutes went too fast, the days too full. And now, it's over.
She's going so very far away. We can't just drive to see/get/be with her. She is excited and nervous; has pretended all week that the day isn't coming. We all have kind of "ostriched"...head in sand, hearts in denial. Her sisters have soaked up moments, her daddy gathered hugs. I've treasured smiles and laughter.
This is one of those times I have to truly remember that she was never really mine.
She has always been His. He designed her, He gave us wisdom in raising her. He knew her future, He wrote her story. And now, I have to trust Him.
It seems so strange. They really do grow up and move into their own lives. It seems like they were babies just the other day....LOTS of other days!
Our youngest is 13 on Friday. Time is flying. It seems like there are never any "One More"s. Seems like life unravels faster than I can keep track of and girls grow quicker than I care to acknowledge. The irony is...I knew years ago I would 'lose' her to Germany. Just didn't know it would be this way.
I really am happy for them. Excited for the adventure that will soon unfold. I just, in my wistful heart, wish it wasn't happening. In my perfect space, our girls are all close by and I get to enjoy each one as grown women. While God has honored my heart in so many things, I recognize that my wistfulness is not His will. He loves me, He loves them. His plan is written, her story being revealed.
Her story isn't more important than any of the other girls'. It's just more noticeable, more prominent in our lives right this minute. So we cry, we laugh and we wish.
Just one more.
My dearest K:
I love you...every day, all the time...
...all your life and mine.
Enjoy the adventure sweets...we'll see you on the flipside.
....moment
.....day
......hug
............
The day is almost here. Tomorrow, our tall girl has her birthday. We are so joyful that we get to spend it with her; it's all tinged in "blue". The minutes went too fast, the days too full. And now, it's over.
She's going so very far away. We can't just drive to see/get/be with her. She is excited and nervous; has pretended all week that the day isn't coming. We all have kind of "ostriched"...head in sand, hearts in denial. Her sisters have soaked up moments, her daddy gathered hugs. I've treasured smiles and laughter.
This is one of those times I have to truly remember that she was never really mine.
She has always been His. He designed her, He gave us wisdom in raising her. He knew her future, He wrote her story. And now, I have to trust Him.
It seems so strange. They really do grow up and move into their own lives. It seems like they were babies just the other day....LOTS of other days!
Our youngest is 13 on Friday. Time is flying. It seems like there are never any "One More"s. Seems like life unravels faster than I can keep track of and girls grow quicker than I care to acknowledge. The irony is...I knew years ago I would 'lose' her to Germany. Just didn't know it would be this way.
I really am happy for them. Excited for the adventure that will soon unfold. I just, in my wistful heart, wish it wasn't happening. In my perfect space, our girls are all close by and I get to enjoy each one as grown women. While God has honored my heart in so many things, I recognize that my wistfulness is not His will. He loves me, He loves them. His plan is written, her story being revealed.
Her story isn't more important than any of the other girls'. It's just more noticeable, more prominent in our lives right this minute. So we cry, we laugh and we wish.
Just one more.
My dearest K:
I love you...every day, all the time...
...all your life and mine.
Enjoy the adventure sweets...we'll see you on the flipside.
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